Crushed

So I walk alone to reclaim what both of us had felt

I'm calling out to all anons to help me help myself

When I'm curious

The signals are a mess when I reach out to you

It's sad

I'm wishful in the way that I wish you'd help find my way back

When I wander

I am fearless

I'm still near you

Can you hear this

It's how I can put my hand on your back in our bed and I still feel alone

Sometimes when you're home I don't think that you're really home

Celebration

Am I worth it

I call out to you

With no purpose

I just want you

With no reason

To deserve it

It's constantly bad

I feel constantly judged

I feel you and I feel crushed

And put on the spot

You do and you don't

Your eyes say both yes and no

I thought you'd respond if my entire self was you

I wake up enraged and throw my phone across the room

Stability...

I don't have it

I just struggle with my stresses

And I'm social

Contradicting what is normal

How I'm feeling