Army

Well I thought about the army

Dad said, "Son you're ******' high"

And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything

So I took my old man's advice

Three sad semesters

It was only 15 grand spent in bed

I thought about the army

I dropped out and joined a band instead

Grew a mustache and a mullet

Got a job at

Chick-Fil-

ACiting artistic differences

The band broke up in

MayAnd in

June reformed without me

And they'd got a different name

I nuked another grandma's apple pie

And hung my head in shame, oh

I've been thinkin' a lot today

I've been thinkin' a lot today

Oh, I think

I'll write a screenplay

Oh, I think

I'll take it to

L AOh, I think

I'll get it done yesterday, ah, ****

In this time of introspection

On the eve of my election

I say to my reflection

God please spare me more rejection'

Cause my peers they criticize me

And my ex-wives all despise me

Try to put it all behind me

But my redneck past is nipping at my heels

I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I thought about the army