Jilted John

I've been going out with a girl,

her name is Julie

But last night she said to me,

when we were watching telly

(This is what she said)

She said listen John, I love you

But there's this bloke, I fancy

I don't want to two time you,

so it's the end for you and me

Who's this bloke I asked her

Goooooordon, she replied

Not THAT puff, I said dismayed

Yes but he's no puff she cried

(He's more of a man than you'll ever be)

Here we go, two three four

I was so upset that I cried,

all the way to the chip shop

When I came out there was Gordon,

standing at the bus stop

(And guess who was with him? Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me)

Oh, she is cruel and heartless

to pack me for Gordon

Just cos he's better looking than me

Just cos he's cool and trendy

But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron

Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron

Here we go, two three four

Oh she's a slag and he's a creep

She's a tart, he's very cheap

She is a slut, he thinks he's tough

She is a *****, he is a puff

Yeah yeah, it's not fair

Yeah yeah, it's not fair

(I'm so upset)

I'm so upset, I'm so upset, yeah yeah

(I ought to smash his face in.)

(Yeah, but he's bigger than me. In't he?)

(I know, I'll get my mate Barry to hit him. He'd flatten him)

(Yeah but Barry's a mate of Gordon's in'e?)

(Oh well, I don't care)

I don't care

I don't care

Cause she's a slag and he's a creep

she's a tart, he's very cheap

she is a slut, he thinks he's tough......