The Last Dictator III

Back among the flas*ing lights of Paradise, his lair

The Last Dictator sat in a chair

And of all the world he was unaware

Till his wife sidled up and said 'Sir'

(As he liked to be known to his family and friends)

'You're very quiet'

When he broke forth in a Southern drawl

The gems he'd gleaned from out-house walls:

'Make no mistake - Hate

Don't delay, don't wait to defend your realm and State - Hate'

'That's good, dear' said Eve with a prideful tear

'I'm glad to hear that it's no longer Fear'

Well he reached out and grabbed her firmly about the rear

And said 'Oh please, just one more beer

I'll do it - but just one more beer'

'Do you think you'd better, dear?'

She said in a voice so menacingly severe

The whole neighbourhood eagerly c**ked an ear

Well **** laughed, and with a placating whine

Said 'Oh Evie, it'll be different this time

Now eat your humility soup

And get out my accoutrements and sacred wine

We're going to the top this time'

Much moved by his own words and several beers

The Last Dictator wiped his tears

As the Angels did appear

And said 'we'd like very much to hear

What exactly it is that you fear

That we may have this devil hooved

And we trust removed

Trust us'

'I trusted someone once

They said stand on this wall

I was but three foot tall

The wall was somewhat more

They said jump and I'll catch you

I jumped but I landed on a stone, with a groan

My leg was broken and that word in my name

Has never since been spoken

From this habit should I now be woken?

I trusted someone once

I trusted someone once

I trusted someone once'

'That you've been badly used is clear

****, that's a terrible fear

It certainly sounds like one rough night

Many would have given up your noble fight

Turned their backs and taken flight'

'Yeah, but just knowing that I was right

Has helped me through plight after plight'

'Tell us please how can we make amends

What can we give you, borrow or bend?'

'For myself I ask not a thing

I neither want nor need the comforts of a king

But the innocent need a strong wise hand

To help them navigate nature's plan

They need a teacher and one who's quick

Someone generous, kind, and strict

I'll need a big stick'

'Oh, we'll give you a very big stick

Not like any that you've seen yet

We've raised the money and laid the bet

The cat's in the bag, the bag's in the river

Here's an arrow for your quiver

So trust us, trust us

You can trust us

You can trust us.