I'm Bad

(Calling all cars, calling all cars...)

(Be on the lookout for a tall light-skinned brother with dimples)

(Wearing a black kangol, sweatsuit, gold chain, and sneakers)

(Last seen on Farmers Boulevard headed east)

(Alias L.L. Cool J)

(He's bad...)

Aaaahhhhhhhhhh...

No rapper can rap quite like I can

I'll take a musclebound man and put his face in the sand

Not the last Mafioso I'm a MC cop

Make you say, "Go L.L. and do the wop"

If you think you can outrhyme me, yeah boy I bet

Cause I ain't met a ************ who can do that yet

Trendsetter I'm better my rhymes are good

I got a gold name plate that says I wish you would

And when rap begin then I gotta join in and

Before my rhyme is over you know I'm a win

Cool J has arrived so you better make way

Ask anybody in the crowd they say the kid don't play!

Sparring competition that's my hobby and job

I don't wear a disguise because I don't own the mob

Got a pinpoint rap that makes you feel trapped

So many girls on my jock I think my phone here is tapped

I'm bad

(Cool J)

(Cool J)

(Cool J)

(C C C C Cool J J)

(Cool J)

(C C C C C C C Cool J J J J J)

I'm like Tyson icin' I'm a soldier at war

I'm makin' sure you don't try to battle me no more

Got concrete rhymes been rappin' for ten years and

Even when I'm braggin' I'm bein' sincere

MC's can't win I make 'em rust like tin

They call me Jaws my hat is like a shark's fin

Because I'm bad as can be got my voice on wax

Some brothers think he's making records now he must have relaxed

I couldn't shouldn't and it'll stay that way

The best rapper you've heard is L.L. Cool J

Kamikaze take a look at what I've done

Used to rock in my ba*****t now I'm number one

And can happen on time never standin' on line

You wanna try me first you better learn how to rhyme

I'm the pinnacle that means I reign supreme

And I'm notorious I'll crush you like a jelly bean

I'm bad

I eliminate punks cut 'em up in chunks

You were souped you heard me and your ego shrunk

I'm devastating I'm so good it's a shame

Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal they call me insane

I'm as strong as a bull of course you know I am pull

I enjoy what I'm doing plus I'm paid in full

Not Buckaroo Bonsai but busted out as I

Say the kind of rhymes that make MC's wish that I die

Never retire or put my mike on the shelf

The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself

Not bitter or mad just provin' I'm bad

You want a hit give me a hour plus a pen and a pad

MC's they retreat cause they know I can beat 'em

And eat 'em in a battle and the ref won't cheat 'em

I'm the best takin' out all rookies

So forget Oreos eat Cool J cookies

I'm bad

(Cool J)

(Cool J)

(Cool J)

(Cool J J J)

(Cool J J J)

(C Cool J)

Never ever no never

Never wearin' no Levis battle me why try

I'll treat you like a stepchild so tell mommy bye bye

Sparrin' MC's and I'm a never get whipped

When I retire I'll get worship like a old battleship

L.L. I'm bad other rappers know

When I enter the center they say, "Yo, yo there he go!"

My paycheck's large Mr. Bogart in charge

Not a puncher or hunter from a rap cool large

The original Todd teachin' how to be hard

Take the skin off a snake and split a pea from a pod

You're a novice I'm noble and I decipher my tongue

Not Atilla the Hun but no I'm Threwler his son

My vulture's exact like rack and pinion in a Jag

You try to brag you get your rhymes from a grab-bag

No good scavenger catfish vulture

My tongue's a chisel in this competition sculpture

I'm bad

(Think I'm gonna need backup)

(Think I'm gonna need backup)

(Give me that Walkie Talkie.)

(Yo this is L.L. Cool J)

(And you'll never catch me so don't even try it)

(I'm too bad for ya, understand...)

Aaaaaahhhh... I'm bad!