Divorce

Your mother’s on her second divorce,

Do you think she realises yet she does have some flaws,

I hope she does, she probably won’t though,

She’s far too caught up with getting her eyebrows done,

She’s forty-four,

She reminds me of you,

I see you went ahead and did all of the things I asked you not to do,

It doesn’t even matter anymore,

So don’t text me asking how I am ‘cause I’ve told you before,

Your mother’s on her second divorce,

And I thank my lucky stars because that would’ve been us,

You would be fifty in the hot tub, talking ‘bout your botox,

I’d be crying in our bedroom because we’re selling the apartment,

I wonder who’ll take the dogs,

If it were us then you could have them ‘cause I was never that fussed,

I wonder if you know how many times I could’ve done what you’ve done,

Kicked you while you’re down then upped and left when all you needed was love,

Love,

Your mother’s on her second divorce,

And I thank my lucky stars, yeah I thank the Gods above,

You would be bitching in the restaurant, pointing out where I had gone wrong,

I’d be sad mainly because I’d never see you with your clothes off,

But be happy for your friends, they’d never see my face again because they hated my every move,

And I hated them too,

**** you, your mum and everyone else,

How do you live with yourself,

Once a cheat, always a ****ing cheat,

**** you, your mum and all of your friends,

I hung on ‘til the bitter end,

And got nothing but lies and deceit,

**** you, and everyone else,

Your mother’s on her second divorce,

It’s not about her, it’s us,

I gave you everything you know,

You just let me go,

And now the next girl’s going to be so hard to trust,

**** you, and everyone else.