Lovers' Spat

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no

Please, no song, I'll do anything

Yeah, guys, we're actually in the middle of some—

You can't plow a field without hittin' some stones

Every steak's bound to have some fat

You can't eat a fish without gettin' some bones

And you can't have love without having a lover's spat

Would you leave us alone for just a minute?

Seriously, please

First she says somethin' bound to get his gander

Then he says somethin' mean to get her back

Then she complains that he don't undеrstand her

And then he givеs her a smack

Oh, oh no, that's not okay

Unless it's consensual

It's just a

Love-love-lover's spat

Just 'cause you're feudin'

Don't mean that you're concludin'

It's as plain, plain, plain as that

It's only a lover's spat

First he says

Yeah, I-I'm not doing this

Then she says

Oh, what a surprise, you don't want to talk about it

Then he says

Um, what is that supposed to mean?

Then she says

It's not supposed to mean anything; I said what I meant

Then he says

I can't do this with all these people around

Then she says

Oh, you can't do this period

Every gal and feller

Are bound to have a yeller

We have to get out of here

Yeah, yeah

Even Adam frolicked in the garden

Living there was such a sweet delight

'Til Adam, he said, "Madam, beg your pardon

But my apple's missing a bite"

They (They) had (Had) a (A)

Love-love-lover's spat

Just 'cause you're wranglin'

Don't mean that you're untanglin'

It's as plain, plain, plain as that

It's only a lover's spat

First she says

So what's the plan, Josh, look for someone new?

Then he says

I'm not having a discussion that's part of a musical number

Then she says

Why won't you just answer the question?

Then he says

Fine, yes, if it's a way to get out of here

Then she says

I knew it, I knew it

Then he says

Agh!

It's just a

Love-love-lover's (It's just a lover's, lover's) spat

Just 'cause you bicker

Don't mean that you'll end quicker

It's as plain, plain, plain (It's as plain, as plain) as that

It's only a lover's spat

When he puts her on the spot

And she spits out of spite

They're a kettle and a pot

Both convinced they're right

And they think it's all for nought

Then they kiss goodnight

It's over

Mel

No, I mean it, we're officially broken up now

You're free to find true love with whoever you want

'Cause this is it, the end

And, and you suck, and I hate you, and I hope you die

Mel

Stop saying Mel, you sound like a freakin' idiot

That's how you end a lover's

How you end a lover's spat