If That Ain't Country

Well I'm just an old man now covered with scars

Most of them I got fightin' in them redneck bars

And A bunch of brand new tattoos that Squench put on me

He covered up the ones I'd gotten years ago

Back in prison when I was just Dave Coe

And I wasn't famous then and I wasn't free

You know I grew up in a three room run down shack

At the foot of the hill by the railroad track

Where decent folks don't go when the sun goes down

My daddy worked at the Goodyear tire and rubber company

And he worked on cars

My momma went to church and my daddy went to bars

Most people just called it the hillbilly part of town

I had a '55 Chevy when I was fifteen

I painted it red cause I was still green

Hell I couldn't even afford to buy it gas

Had a .410 rifle and a bowie knife to

Red Man tobacco that I liked to chew

And we'd count the cars when the trains went past

And if that ain't country i'll kiss your ass

If that ain't country it'll hair lip the pope

If that ain't country it's a damn good joke

I've been on the Grand Ol Opry and I know Johnny Cash

And if he ain't country i'll kiss your ass

You know one of my sisters was a lady of the night

Then one day she saw the light

Now she don't do those things that she used to do

She never made the funeral when my daddy died

I said I'd forgive her but I guess I lied

Cause there ain't no way to hide the way that I feel

Me and my brothers took our sister Diane

Down to the funeral home to see the old man

Jimmy was the oldest and Diane she was the youngest one

Jack and Ray was in the middle and then there was me

And I'm the one that turned 23

And grew up to be that yankee's rebel son

Times are changing I heard Bob Dylan say

It's been fifteen years now since my father passed away

But I can still picture him in his overalls

Standin' around the house where he made his deals

Around the porch there was a bunch of old wheels

And some used Harley Davidson parts that he sold for cash

There was fifty holes in an old tin roof

Me and my family was livin' proof

Everybody called us old poor white trash

And if that ain't country i'll kiss your ass

If that ain't country it'll hair lip the pope

If that ain't country it's a damn good joke

I've been on the Grand Ol Opry and I know Johnny Cash

And if he ain't country i'll kiss your ass

And if that ain't country i'll kiss your ass

And if that ain't country i'll kiss your ass