Last Orders

The first time that I saw her it was getting kinda late

I’d already had a skinful but I asked her for a date

She said yes, I had a drink to celebrate

Time for one last round

I know the road to romance has some very rocky paths

So next night I was careful and I stuck to drinking half’s

In an hour, in an alley with our drawers around our calf’s

Time for one last round

The bells, the bells,

So loud a man can’t think

The bells, the bells,

Is there time for another drink?

Fifteen minutes later we were back inside the pub

She told me I was wonderful, she said she was in love

I said “thank you darling, two large brandies guv”

There’s time for one last round

The bells, the bells,

So loud a man can’t think

The bells, the bells,

Is there time for another drink?

Four pints of lager later things went from bad to worse

She came back from the toilet caught me going through her purse

She said “forget the taxi, you’re gonna need a hearse”

There’s time for one last round

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila four

I knew I wasn’t drunk I had a good grip on the floor

I puckered up to kiss her but she punched me in the jaw

Time for one last round

Time for one last

Time for one last

Time for one last round