Lips Shut

I killed kindness

With my own violence

I‘m thinking twice now

I‘m on the brink of niceness

With myself in hindsight

I should love the highlights

I should treat myself right

I should not be scared of nighttime thoughts,

that I’m not enough for my own life

I’m dancing on my own knife

Pirouetting like I’m paradise bound

On a cursed flight

With no seatbelt,

On the edge of my seat

Just praying that the heat

won’t keep my knees weak

like an unwanted keepsake

And I‘m thinking I‘ll just

leave this shit straight,

Head home and just be fake

On my own

where nobody can see the real me

The real me I hate,

Not hate Just don’t relate

To my own view of self:

Somebody send help

I hear a million carbon copies of myself

And every single one of them is shouting

You should go to hell

The more they talk the more I think

I might as well

And maybe, maybe I should sew their lips shut

They want me praying

at the altar of my doubt

They shout Judas in the flesh has come around

So it’s supper for suckers before I‘m out

I should sew their lips shut

Maybe I should face it

I’m not feeling amazing

I’m blocking my own wave

Could you step out of the way?

Other me should sit

Down girl just quit

I‘m following my Id

I‘ll leave my ego in the ditch,

yeah Freud would be proud if,

if he could hear me now

I told my therapist this

She said there’s too many to talk

and too many mini me‘s tryna

tell me who I should be

And maybe, maybe I should sew their lips shut

I hear a million carbon copies of myself

And every single one of them is shouting

You should go to hell

The more they talk the more I think I might as well

And maybe, maybe I should sew their lips shut

They want me praying at the altar of my doubt

They shout Judas in the flesh has come around

So it’s supper for suckers before I‘m out

I should sew their lips shut

They want me praying at the altar of my doubt,

doubt Judas in the flesh has come around,

round I should sew their lips shut

I hear a million carbon copies of myself

And every single one of them is shouting

You should go to hell

The more they talk the more I think I might as well

And maybe, maybe I should sew their lips shut

They want me praying at the altar of my doubt

They shout Judas in the flesh has come around

So it’s supper for suckers before I‘m out

I should sew their lips shut