What Else Is New

Well, your skeletons in the closet are introducing themselves

The knick-knacks wisecrack there on the shelf

You told him that you loved him, but he's hissin' at you

What else is new, what else is new, what else is new

Cause your old man's a counterfeit, your daughter's a lush

It's you and Mickey Spillane, and the lady's in a hush(?)

Someone's stealin' your heart, someone's stealin' your car

What else is new

Well now, your creditors hate you, and so do your kids

Your footballin' sweetheart is down on the skids

And now the parks are full of fugitives, the trees are on fire

What else is new, what else is new

Now you see, the cigarette machines are busted, you can't get no change

And somebody cancels everything you arrange

For every invitation gets your RSVP

What else is new, what else is new, what else is new, what else is new

Well now, the rockin' chair's busted, your ashtrays are full

Your evenings and your afternoons are usually dull

So you toast to the Toastmaster toaster and you

What else is new, what else is new, what else is new, what else is new

You gotta tell me, what else is new

What else is new

What else is new, what else is new, what else is new

What else is new