These Drugs

I don't wanna do drugs anymore

If you saw me through the eyes of a bathroom stall

Your skin would crawl

I'm high

But I am not a sycophant for a good time

I only wanted to escape my mind

For one night, know what happiness feels like

But the nightmare I'm ignoring is darker in the morning

It's a band-aid on a broken arm

It's a siren sounding out alarm

A ****ed-up version of self-harm

And it's louder than a cry for help

When I destroy my mental health

Because I don't respect myself

Every time I take these drugs to pick me up

All I ever do is cry

Every time I take these drugs to pick me up

All I ever do is cry

I don't wanna go to bed alone

So I let another stranger take me home

I drink to numb the pain

And you would do it too if you would share my brain

Everybody that I love gets hurt

And I'm learning to believe that I just deserve

The demons I'm ignoring

And the regret in the morning

It's a ****ing domino effect

A prison cell inside my head

A trauma that I can't forget

And it's louder than a cry for help

When I destroy my mental health

Because I ****ing hate myself

Every time I take these drugs to pick me up

All I ever do is cry

Every time I take these drugs to pick me up

All I ever do is

Cry, cry

I only ever

Cry, cry

I only ever

Cry, cry

I only ever

Cry, cry

I only ever

Damned if I do and bored if I don't

And I should get clean again but I won't

I told you that I don't need help

Because I lie to myself

I'm damned if I do and bored if I don't

And I should get clean again but I won't

I wanna be someone else

Because I'm scared of myself

Sometimes I'm scared of myself

Every time I take these drugs to pick me up

All I ever do is cry

Every time I take these drugs to pick me up

All I ever do is

Cry, cry

I only ever

Cry, cry

I only ever

Cry, cry

I only ever

Cry, cry

I only ever cry