歌词
Uh well, hello everyone!
Welcome to the Rehab Center for Fictional Characters
Um, alright
Let's just get right to it
Who wants to start us off?
How 'bout you Kris?
Um, alright
Hey, I'm Kris Kringle
I'm a *** addict
Hey I'm Santa Claus, I'm the king of snow
I hate my wife because she's a ho, ho, ho
She used to please me every day, then she made it clear
That Santa's only supposed to come once a year
******' *****
Now I buy whores, rock and roll
And I stuff their stockings with my north pole
Okay Kris, thank you!
Alright, who's up next?
Patrick, frowny face!
Get up here
Alright
I'm Patrick O'Reilly, I'm a leprechaun
You all doin' good?
Yeah, I'm not doing so good
I had a wonderful life, with a healthy household
And beautiful wife, and a pot full of gold... hah
Then my wife spent my riches all by herself, and since women are b*****s, blew a Keebler elf... Ugh
Now I drink all day and a part of me dies
'Cause my wife's gettin' g*******ged by the Rice Krispie guys
Hey I know them!
Oh, Tony, nice of you to show up
Where were you last week?
I had some stuff
Hey, I'm Tony the Tiger
Uh, **** it I'll just sing
Every day I wake up, I get to work late
My boss says, "Hey, whats up?"
I say that I'm grrrrrrrrowing tired of this s**t
The kids they laugh, 'cause I'm a sensitive cat
"Big *****!"
I can't argue with that
If another kid gives me Frosted Flakes
I swear on my life I'll... eat his parents
Okay, Ton, thank you
Um, so that's everybody
So let's just get down to it, um
Oh, who are you?
Hi, yeah, hi, yeah, hi, yeah
I'm the Easter Bunny, hey I'm back!
Used to be funny, now I'm hooked on crack
Heaps of h****ne ain't no joke, Marshmallow Peeps covered in coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke
COKE!
Drugs for life, that's my plan, but now I have no attention span
Okay, I'm gonna go get him, alright?
You guys, just please play nice, alright?
I'll be back in a second, okay?
Hey Pat, did you hear? All my elves got sick
I think they got herpes from some Irish chick
************
What are you laughin' at, Tony?
I dunno
It's, uh... It's funny
This is gettin' ridiculous
Santa, Tony, would you guys please stop?
Oh, snap!
Crackle and Pop
Haha, 'cause they banged your wife
I'm gettin' out of here
This is ******* ridiculous, huh