Masochist

Masochist （虐狂）-Tonedeff

Everything happens for a reason

And my reason to be's to see sh*t happen for a reason

One event to the

Next

It's like I'm stuck at the box office with every second my clock tosses

Into my face smacked with a case of fate wasted and lost causes

I've been mocked and accosted

To the point that I got nauseous

Though my flow's been plugged enough to stop faucets

I've thought often about tossing this awesome gift to the wind

And start crossing over to

Sin with this intention to blend that

I get from

Within

I've protected my skin with a thin

Layer of pride and showmanship

But both my coats are ripped and

I can't seem to decide on clothes that fit

Supposing this rap sh*t actually pays off

I'm wondering if it'll all be

Worth it

Cause this is what everyone in my life has ever been hurt with

This curse this evil urge

I feel for verses

Is one of my life's real perversions

I seal my curtains when I write

I feel disturbance from the light

I deal with dirt and yet

I want to heal the earth and peel the surface to

Reveal it's perfect

And words I wield with purpose

And yet nobody follows the plot

They rather hear me rock off of the top

There's pitfalls in my socks

So I walk with caution

Somebody halt the auction

Cause my soul's on sale

And I thought I lost it

If I gotta fight for the rest of my life

Then I'm gon'turn the other cheek

Yeah

Cause I hate the way you hurt me

But I can't get enough of your love

Love

And who the hell am I supposed to be

A holy priest holding a rosary

Some type of bold stoic Moses of poetry

Should I be holding heat to pose for the streets

A total phoney If I said my name was '

Tony'would you know it's me

Supposedly T-O-N-E flow with ease over these bolder beats

But the flow's too cheap to pay for groceries

And in the throws of grief I choke and breathe

Loaded with my parents hopes and dreams

Yet I don't know if we both

Believe

I scope the scene and

I'm watching these bills build up

I'm nice with a day-job these niggaz write

All day and still suck

And yet they fill clubs

Sell a trillion and feel

I kill dubs

But I don't have the mills to pay for real pub

My chilled love melts on occasion

Cause brainwashed niggaz only feelin'

My track if Clue or Flex will play it

Who you expect to say this sh*t if I don't

What Cause I don't wanna be extorted

By some cat who lets cash determine

His playlists

I'm searching for ways in

But entrances are sparse when you're hard to

Market

F**k art cause thugs aren't the smartest targets

And I'm not abstract enough

So it seems backpackers are acting up

And I thought it was half the battle

Just to have the love

And pack a truckload of skills

Politics are I'll and yo it's real

It seems I'm cruising

And they're still using these crooked stones for

Wheels

And when you know the deal

It doesn't evoke the most appeal

Like stolen Kosher Meals

Lemme propose a toast to heal

If I gotta fight for the rest of my life

Then I'm gon'turn the other cheek

Yeah

Cause I hate the way you hurt me

But I can't get enough of your love

If I gotta fight for the rest of my life

Then I'm gon'turn the other cheek

Yeah

Cause I hate the way you hurt me

But I can't get enough of your love

I've sacrificed so many facets of life just to achieve this

From Love and definitive reason to trust in agreements

My family suffered a grievance when we discussed I was leaving

Seeming substituted for tunnel vision

And it probably crushed all their

Feelings

There's something appeasing in the corruption of demons

Feeding me vehemently lustful delusions of bucks from succeeding

But times up months it's exceeded

Peeling the scabs off of cuts that are bleeding

Knowing I ain't had it as tough as Jesus

This sh*t doesn't compete or even touches what he did

But will I be signed by 33

Cause my teens were f**king depleted

Blessed with a gift

Equipped to assist in the destruction of heathens

But please would god really want me snuffing emcees then

Ha

I must be conceited right

Well I'm balanced out by the lack of self-esteem

I've felt since I've learned how to read and write

Over compensation spelled relief

When the rhyme schemes are tight

Then I feel the weight of a cheapened life

When 5000people die

Sob Sob Feel bad for the rap artist

But pour your soul into something for responses

That's half-hearted

Terminate relationships on the basis of past hardships

And then you'll see

Why every review's like another line on my scarred

Wrist

This light-hearted voice becomes jailed by the darkness

It's impossible to trap my lips when I have to spit

I try to swim away

But I keep getting dragged back in this

Come to find my arms automatically swimming backwards

If I gotta fight for the rest of my life

Then I'm gon'turn the other cheek

Yeah

Cause I hate the way you hurt me

But I can't get enough of your love

If I gotta fight for the rest of my life

Then I'm gon'turn the other cheek

Yeah

Cause I hate the way you hurt me

But I can't get enough of your love

If I gotta fight for the rest of my life

Then I'm gon'turn the other cheek

Yeah

Cause I hate the way you hurt me

But I can't get enough of your love