The Ordinary Family

Leitch

My father cut his toe off

In a rotary lawn mower

And my mother burst a blood vessel

When my younger brother went to jail.

So I told her not to worry

Not to get in such a flurry

We're just an ordinary family

With the usual calamity.

When I was just a virgin lad

My mother faked a suicide

Because she found the tell-tale sign

Of puberty upon the sheets.

So I told her not to worry

Not to get in such a flurry

We're just an ordinary family

With the usual calamity.

We always try to look our best

We always take care when we dress

We always wear clean underwear

In case we're in an accident.

When I become a married man

With children of my very own

Will I lay my inhibitions on

And criticise their ***uality ?

Will I use them to protect respect ?

Will I try to own them flesh and bone ?

Or will I be their equal friend ?

Encouraging their new ideas ?

For the future lies within their hands

And the salvation of all these lands

Yes, the ordinary family

Is the only way to set us free.

Set us free, set us free

Set us free, set us free

Set us free.