I Never Met a Wolf Who Didn't Love To Howl

[Featuring: Megan Hilty & Debra Messing, Nick Jonas, Will Chase, Jaime Ceper]

[Prologue / Ivy ("Marilyn"):]

When you are born with *** appeal

In a forest called Hollywood,

You'll find more wolves at your backdoor

Than that Little Red Riding Hood.

Now she and her little old Gramma

Could have learned from the men I've dated

That a wolf can be quite a devotee

Once he's domesticated!

[Ivy:]

Here's a lesson they should teach in school,

When a girl gets curvy, and the boys all drool,

If math and science just ain't your style,

Just give that teacher a wink and a smile,

For a passing grade, you won't have to wait,

And you can thank him later when you graduate,

Cause I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

No, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl,

If a nice diploma you wanna get,

Well, then, make that teacher the student's pet,

Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

You never know where a wolf might crouch,

But his natural habitat's the casting couch,

So take lots of pictures of the wildlife,

To tell the wolf you could share with his wife,

The Hunter gets captured by the game,

Then Leo the Lion will be roaring your name!

Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

No, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl,

If your face and figure are whistle bait,

Then honey, you'll have the keys to the studio gate!

Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

[Ensemble:]

The three little piggies sure had it wrong

When the wolf came-a-knockin' with that old song

[Ivy:]

He was huffin' and puffin' sayin' "Marilyn, I gotcha!"

I say "Come on in" & I put on Sinatra.

Oh, Frankie!

A wealthy wolf likes to buy his toys

But he really is just one of the boys.

If you've got something for which he's cravin',

It sure is good that he's been savin'.

Be a fan, give his cheek a peck

But get his autograph on a cashier's check.

Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

No, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl.

Even if that wolf's just a grey old goat

[Lyle:] WHAT?!

[Ivy:]

He still will make a nice fur coat.

Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

Go, baby, go!

Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

No, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl.

This wolf looks like he's ready to dine.

[Lyle:] Tell me, where can I sign on the dotted line?

[Ivy:]

Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

Oh, yeah!