歌词
起床啦，套上运动裤
I woke up, threw some sweat pants on
喂喂猫咪转转超市
Then I fed my cat and I walked to the mini mart
我好想吃个甜甜圈，我该不该吃啊
And I really want a donut, shouldn't get a donut
我还是买个吃吧，天哪减肥怎么这么难
Bought a donut, fuck it man it's really hard
本来该节食来着，我真的好想像Ryan一样啊
Supposed to be on a diet, I wanna be like Ryan
他可是靠节食瘦了三十磅啊
He lost thirty pounds on that paleo
可油炸的东西都是我的最爱啊
But fuck it man I love fried shit
我本来打算为了夏天秀身材减肥来着
I was gonna get skinny for the summer
我本来打算天天做仰卧起坐健身来着
I was gonna start doing my crunches
我看了看我的肚腩
But looking down at my stomach
我要是哪天去个海边晒太阳，就我这身材我都不好意思脱衣服
I'mma go to the beach, but I'm not taking my shirt off in public
我女朋友那身材，凹凸有致
My girl shaped like a bottle of Coke
我可好，我这身材压根看不成
Me? I'm shaped like a bottle of nope
我啊，就爱点热狗顺道再买点糖就更好了
I'd like to order a hot dog, some bon bons
对了，再来个大杯的苏打水，再来个炸玉米饼带走
A large soda, and some tacos to go
我以前还真不知道什么是碳水化合物
I never knew what a carbohydrate was
闹半天就它就是所有我爱吃的零食
Turns out that it's all the snacks I love
我想变成休·杰克曼那样，就演金刚狼那哥们
I wanna be like Hugh Jackman, you know jacked man
他肌肉好发达
With a really huge package
我好想去演2015版的蝙蝠侠
I wanna be the 2015 Batman
这样本艾弗莱克就要乖乖走人了
And send Ben Affleck packing
谁让他对他老婆不好呢
If you ain't gonna treat Jennifer Garner right
对老婆不好的人可没什么资格当蝙蝠侠
You don't deserve to have that
你还是把演蝙蝠侠这活让给你哥们马特达蒙吧
You better pass that to the homie Matt Damon
你看看人家那身材那疙瘩肉不是闹着玩的
He eat the booty like Pac Man
我是真心喜欢这个小吃店
You know I feel good about this place
还有这的牛排
You know I feel good about this steak
这的奶昔
You know I feel good about this shake
还有这的菜
You know I feel good about these plates
这的可颂饼
You know I feel good about these crepes
这的小糕点
You know I feel good about this cake
我是真的爱吃这些啊
You know I just love how it tastes
我再也不拖了，脂肪再也不能限制我前进的脚步了
I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no
新年快乐！
Happy New Years
每个人在新年的第一天都下定决心要做些什么
Everybody got a resolution
但到了第二天就把自己的计划忘光了，就再也提不起来兴趣去做了
But the next day, we forget about it never do 'em
我去了趟健身房办了个会员卡
I went to the gym and got a membership
在跑步机上运动了五分钟我就再也不想动弹了
Five minutes on the treadmill and I never lift
这都是四年前的事了，我觉得我应该去把那张会员卡给退了去
That was four years ago I should probably cancel this
可他们说要退会员卡我还要亲自去趟健身房，你说他们怎么这么麻烦？
But they tell me I gotta do it in person, ain't that a bitch?
过了一天，我一想我还是该去健身
But tomorrow though, I'mma get fit
于是我就买了个耐克手环又买了个跑步机
Get me a fuel band and a fit-bit
买了双跑鞋又买了个台式压力机
Get me some workout shoes, and a bench press
我还带了瓶柠檬水还有杯黑咖啡
Some mulu lemons and a french press
我这下总算能好好练练瑜伽了
I'mma finally focus do some private yoga
舒展一下我的肩膀，我可得把这甜甜圈给藏好了
Exercise my shoulders, I'mma hide the donuts
我还得纠正一下我的站姿，我都没时间坐着了
Realign my posture, no time for sofas
我这下可算是醒酒了
I'm finally sober no lime Coronas
但这都是我明天要干的事
But again, that's tomorrow
今天我可要出去吃顿好的
And today man I gotta go big cause it's my last day
今晚可是我减肥前的最后一晚了，我可得好好吃上一顿
Before I lose that weight, I gotta get one last plate and go big
我就着冰镇饮料吃了一夜
I ate all night, Kool-Aid on ice
睡醒了发现自己整个人都不好了
I woke up and I felt like shit
我一想还是算了吧
And I said, "you know what, man fuck it
我干脆下星期一再开始减肥吧
I should probably start on Monday instead"
得了，我就开开心心的吃吧
Motherfucker let's eat
我是真心喜欢这家饭馆
You know I feel good about this place
还有这的牛排
You know I feel good about this steak
这的奶昔
You know I feel good about this shake
这的菜
You know I feel good about these plates
还有这的可松饼
You know I feel good about these crepes
和小糕点
You know I feel good about this cake
这些都是我的真爱呐
You know I just love how it tastes
我再也不打算等下去了，脂肪你别想挡住我吃货的脚步，你休想
I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no
专辑信息