disguised (prod. cxld blxxd)

I take my pain and I rack it out in a line

I take my brain and I trade it in for a dime

I take my problems and I put them on a pedastal

And if you wanna **** with me first give me chemicals

But lately i'm better it's been incredible

I'm faded but now I'm just on that medical

And maybe my choices aren't that regrettable

Maybe someday depression will be forgettable

Every time I close my eyes

I see a world where I don't gotta lie

Trapped in my body I slowly die

I'm in the lobby of the afterlife

I don't even sleep at night

I lie awake and I fantasize

About a life where I'm not disguised

I'm paralyzed by paradise

My life could be hell

My life could be heaven

I just can't tell

Which way I've been steppin

And I'm bettin

By 27

I'll either be living my dream or I'll be checkin out

I got all this doubt

Fear in my brain so I'm smokin up a cloud

Music so loud while I speed through town like

Am I about to come up or go down

I take my identity and make an enemy

I take my greatest mistakes and call them destiny

I take my jealousy and call it empathy

I take fake love and call it chemistry

But lately I've been coming to my senses

I'm tired of living my life pretending

That I'm satisfied jumping over these fences

And climbing this mountain that's never ending

Every time I close my eyes

I see a world where I don't gotta lie

Trapped in my body I slowly die

I'm in the lobby of the afterlife

I don't even sleep at night

I lie awake and I fantasize

About a life where I'm not disguised

I'm paralyzed by paradise