Unopened Letter

歌词

And dear love

This is the fifth time that I’ve written you today

Or maybe the sixth, after three they tend to all start to blend together

But regardless of the number, the meaning still remains

The ink that I’ve split onto this sheet is stained with the guilt you carried

From the first week of knowing you

Even those first few words that you uttered out of that entrancing mouth of yours

I took too far to heart

But the realization that they had steadily become rotten was far more withstand-able

No... Convincing myself that what I took for real was just a twisted illusion

And that your words could be held with some sense of meaning…

Was far easier to withstand

You see, I just wanted to act like I had a perfect life, like we were perfect, like nothing else in the world could be anymore perfect

But I guess I’ll never get that

And maybe it was my illusion of perfection

Or how that word was engraved into my brain every time you’d look at me with that relentless stare

That haunting, creeping stare that I so loathed

But I didn’t loathe it enough to not let it ensnare me

Though I knew of the branches’ thorns

I let it wrap itself around me

Drawing blood with every inch that it covered

With every limb that it captured and claimed its own

I let it creep and crawl its way around me

Until I had nothing left to call my own

Which made the cutting of the branches that much harder

Pieces of me trapped between the thorns

Tearing apart and leaving the hollow being that I like to call a body

'Cause that’s all that was left

It’s like the lights were on and the water was running

But I couldn’t have been any further gone

Scarred, scraped, and just remnants of what I once was

Left to rot and wither as the branches claimed what they thought rightfully theirs

Moving on to the next with no less sympathy than the last

For months I tried to hate, tried to resent, tried to forget

And I know that you’re the last person that I should want to see, but it’s just not that way to me

Because every time I look at the scars you left covering the undersides of my arms

I only see the beauty that once was

I only see the times that we enjoyed, not the times that we regret

The times you left me starstruck and teary-eyed and not broken and alone

Please God, I just wish you had poured meaning in the word we call “love”

Made it more than a word, at least that’s how it was to me

'Cause even after I’ve picked out every last thorn that’s dug itself neck deep into my skin

I can’t toss them into the flames like every photo from when I once knew you

Because the pain, it reminds me

I wish I’d known what you had wanted

Wanted all along