I'm So Ready To Be Free

When I think about it,

our plan,

it’s so lovely.

So exciting.

Going to the antique dress store,

picking out dresses and playing dress-up,

trying to find the one.

The perfect one.

Doing each others make up and feeling like pretty princesses.

Spending our last day together,

doing whatever we want,

eating junk food and candy and kissing each other with sticky ice cream lips,

with the sun shining down on us as we frolic around in our pretty white dresses,

holding hands.

Lying in the grass,

breathing in our last air and staring up at the blue sky,

and the fluffy clouds.

Dancing around to our favorite music.

Then we start drinking and taking pills and drugs as the sun falls from the sky,

into the night.

Our fear resting in the pits of our stomachs starts to become numb,

and we wait.

Then we drive,

park,

and walk down the dark tracks,

with only the moon to guide us.

Bringing only letters,

cigarettes,

and a radio with us.

We walk down,

balancing,

stumbling,

holding onto each other.

Then we reach the curve.

That’s the spot.

We lie their together,

with our necks resting against the cold rails.

We listen to Dying by Hole,

and various other songs we’ve already selected for our ‘Last Day CD’.

We smoke until we’re calm.

We talk,

and comfort each other.

This is it.

We hear the horn sound miles away,

and we start praying to God’s that don’t exist and letting go.

We sweat and cry and hold each other.

We wait.

And it comes.

And we die,

Finally.

We’re finally free.

I’m so ready.

I’m so ready to be free.