Birch

Living with the memory in the glass

Everything is so white in the past

Cant see, everything I try to be

Just ends up failing in front of me

Brown hair, brown eyes

You can’t compare someone’s soul by size

So I’m living with the floorboards

Buried with our childhood lies

Out by the back were our dog used to sing

Place me next to him

Well never speak of this again.

I found lust in petty smiles

I got lost in you for awhile

The ghost by the chair

Looking at us still pulling out my hair

I was the residence of your bed

The emotions you never fed

Even at this point in life

My psychiatrist says I was better off dead

So little birch, come grow on my spine

Be the one who says you’ll always be mine

But the fire inside, never burns that bright

Dim with the shadows, a soul not in sight

Being a wall flower is far from new to me

Its blasphemy thinking this is what love could be

Suicidal thoughts creeping up the back my neck

Hanging the noose with good intentions and a welfare check

Maybe I’ve just been wishing too much

Maybe I’ve just been wishing

Living with the memory in the glass

Everything is so white in the past

Cant see, everything I try to be

Just ends up failing in front of me

Brown hair, brown eyes

You can’t compare someone’s soul by size

So I’m living with the floorboards

Buried with our childhood lies

Ill park in the drive way

Where this rain never seems to end

Flooded gutters, flooded eyes

Stories of a time when we can mend

But seriously since when did anxiety become too much to swallow

My back burner is burning a hole

Straight through my bones leaving me hollow

I guess I’m just calling

Just to say I’ve been thinking a lot lately

With dreams of dying

I was stupid to think that you would change me

I became used to breathing nicotine

Every time our lips seem to touch

I guess this is a stretch

But black lungs never really meant much.

I never did really mean that much did I

I never really meant that much to you.