Step Right Up

Step right up step right up step right up

Everyones a winner bargains galore

Thats right you too can be the proud owner

Of the quality goes in before the name goes on

One-tenth of a dollar one-tenth of a dollar we got service after sales

You need perfume we got perfume how bout an engagement ring

Something for the little lady something for the little lady

Something for the little lady hmm

Three for a dollar

We got a year-end clearance we got a white sale

And a smoke-damaged furniture you can drive it away today

Act now act now and receive as our gift our gift to you

They come in all colors one size fits all

No muss no fuss no spills youre tired of kitchen drudgery

Everything must go going out of business going out of business

Going out of business sale

Fifty percent off original retail price skip the middle man

Dont settle for less

How do we do it how do we do it volume volume turn up the volume

Now youve heard it advertised dont hesitate

Dont be caught with your drawers down

Dont be caught with your drawers down

You can step right up step right up

Thats right it filets it chops it dices slices

Never stops lasts a lifetime mows your lawn

And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school

It gets rid of unwanted facial hair it gets rid of embarrassing age spots

It delivers a pizza and it lengthens and it strengthens

And it finds that slipper thats been at large

Under the chaise lounge for several weeks

And it plays a mean rhythm master

It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar

And its only a dollar step right up its only a dollar step right up

Cause it forges your signature

If not completely satisfied mail back unused portion of product

For complete refund of price of purchase

Step right up

Please allow thirty days for delivery dont be fooled by cheap imitations

You can live in it live in it laugh in it love in it

Swim in it sleep in it

Live in it swim in it laugh in it love in it

Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets thats right

And it entertains visiting relatives it turns a sandwich into a banquet

Tired of being the life of the party

Change your shorts change your life change your life

Change into a nine-year-old hindu boy get rid of your wife

And it walks your dog and it doubles on sax

Doubles on sax you can jump back jack see you later alligator

See you later alligator

And it steals your car

It gets rid of your gambling debts it quits smoking

Its a friend and its a companion

And its the only product you will ever need

Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing

Well it takes weights off hips bust thighs chin midriff

Gives you dandruff and it finds you a job it is a job

And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange

And it gives you denture breath

And you know its a friend and its a companion

And it gets rid of your travelers checks

Its new its improved its old-fashioned

Well it takes care of business never needs winding

Never needs winding never needs winding

Gets rid of blackheads the heartbreak of psoriasis

Christ you dont know the meaning of heartbreak buddy

Cmon cmon cmon cmon

Cause its effective its defective it creates household odors

It disinfects it sanitizes for your protection

It gives you an erection it wins the election

Why put up with painful corns any longer

Its a redeemable coupon no obligation no salesman will visit your home

We got a jackpot jackpot jackpot prizes prizes prizes all work guaranteed

How do we do it how do we do it how do we do it how do we do it

We need your business were going out of business

Well give you the business

Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale

Receive our free brochure free brochure

Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions batteries not included

Send before midnight tomorrow terms available

Step right up step right up step right up

You got it buddy: the large print giveth and the small print taketh away

Step right up you can step right up you can step right up

Cmon step right up

（get away from me kid you bother me ）

Step right up step right up step right up cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon

Step right up you can step right up cmon and step right up

Cmon and step right up