TONYA

Mother, I am sorry, I never pick up

Mmm-mhm

Because I'm afraid to disappoint

Ooh, oh, no

Oh, no

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to

We were sat outside on the hardwood floor

With our feet in dirt, and our hearts in awe

I be losin' sleep thinkin' 'bout missed calls

And I see the names circling our thoughts

And I think about if we lose it all

And I turn to **** that you never want

Like the smoke, the drink, anything at all

And I'll say again, sorry I don't call

There's no money on my mind, but my money or my mind

What's the first to fall?

I never wanted this ****

Yeah

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to

Sometimes it be so spot on it hurts

Like when Auntie couldn't decide

Between going to work or church

I've been in my feelings on an island in the dirt

I feel like brothers lie just so my feelings don't get hurt

I said, I'll try vacation, and I'll try to run away

I deleted Facebook, I'll trade fame any day

For a quiet Texas place and a barbecue plate

I'll switch my place if that's good for you, is that good for you?

My ghost still haunt you, my life is I, Tonya

A big eyed monster, only face to conquer

I hated songs about fame 'cause that stuff meant nothin'

Until them headlines came, then first flight I'm stuckin'

And maybe it means nothing

But I have to say I think about you often

And if you want no part with me

I'll walk away, I know that I have wronged you

And maybe it means nothing

But I have to say I think about you often

And if you want no part with me

I'll walk away, I know that I have wronged you

I took a plane to somewhere that I've never been

Too many times without my sister and my brother

Dad or mother by my side but they're in spirit

I always hear it, I know they feel it

My mom will always have these dreams that keep her up at night

I smoke to keep them all away and make use of the time

I'm void of feelin'

The reasons I'm so out of touch, now start revealin'

But I'm not ashamed, I'm not afraid of who I am

Or how I trust my mental, yeah, it's not perfect

But I guess that's just the **** I'm into

I fantasize about a time when everything was simple

My shelter sheltered me from things I needed to commit to

The way it stands to me

A victim of Stockholm in my friendships and family

What's costin' you time? What's the reason that you whine?

What's in your wallet? Dead whites in mine

So sour, in this light of lime

Daddy said "study or get that cash"

Mommy said "your career ain't gon' last"

Loose change, call a cab, move out their pad

I just want a chance to move past my past

Don't think too fast, private jets still crash

And I'll still fly coach, and I'll still hit a roach

And I'll still see roaches at the crib where my folks at

Touch your dreams 'fore you touch me and provoke a man

(Somebody gonna have to tell the truth and I'm gonna tell it!)

I will (I will)

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to

How I, how I

Can I tell you how, Can I tell you now

How I, how I