Babysitting Is a Bum Deal

(Singers:)

Here is the tale of a babysitting job,

the baby is something of a snob,

(Stewie:)

Oh, go **** yourselves

(Singers:)

So listen very closely, and you'll find

that what they say is not the same as what's on their minds

(Haylie:)

Aren't you a cute little boy

(Haylie's Thoughts:)

look at that melon shaped head

(Stewie:)

Having you here is a joy

(Stewie's Thoughts:)

and in an hour you'll be dead

(Haylie:)

Sit on my knee

(Haylie's Thoughts:)

please don't go poo

(Stewie:)

Nice place to be

(Stewie's Thoughts:)

This one's for you

(Both:)

Babysitting is a bum deal

(Haylie:)

Why don't we watch Will & Grace

(Thought:)

Jesus, do I need a smoke

(Stewie:)

Jack puts a smile on my face

(Thought:)

oh, what a surprise, a gay joke

(Haylie:)

I like your house

(Thought:)

the ceiling has cracks

(Stewie:)

I like your blouse

(Thought:)

Miss TJ Maxx

(Both:)

Babysitting is a bum deal

(Singers:)

So they sat as time went by

(Haylie:)

slowly as time could go

(Singers:)

the baby blarred, and softly cursed

(Stewie:)

cause her lips, and her skirt, and her shoes,

and her hair made her look like a hoe

(Haylie:)

Time for your bottle my sweet

(Thought:)

This little brat smells like piss

(Stewie:)

alway's a succulent treat

(Thought:)

while I suck that, you suck this

(Haylie:)

Aren't you a sight

(Thought:)

look at him drool

(Stewie:)

you're a delight

(Thought:)

Damn you, you fool

(Both:)

Babysitting is a bum deal

(Singers:)

The diaper change was quite a job

(Haylie:)

the grossest I've ever seen

(Singers:)

The baby smiled and took a breath

(Stewie:)

and I grunted and pooped out a poop,

that looked something like Matthew Modine

(Haylie:)

someday you might meet a girl

(Thought:)

yeah, she's gonna be your right hand

(Stewie:)

Maybe it's you my sweet pearl

(Thought:)

darling, i'd rather **** sand

(Haylie:)

Have a good night

(Thought:)

you little creep

(Stewie:)

Have a good night

(Thought:)

Die in your sleep

(Both:)

Babysitting is a bum deal

Babysitting is a bum deal