Who Done It?

It was a rainy night and all the windows were tight

And there were thirteen people in the house

The owner and his wife, the butler and his wife

Cook with her knife, a couple named Smythe.

The Andersons were there with another strange pair

And the scary caretaker and me

The clock struck one, there was the sound of a gun

And I heard somebody run away.

And the twelve who were alive had terror in their eyes

And I overheard the Andersons say...

'Who could have done it ?'

'Who could have done it ?'

And I wonder where's the cook and her knife

'Madam' - said Adam with his wife by his side

'It was the shot we heard that took her life'.

The other couple named Sloan and I ran to the phone

To call the police but just then

All the power went out and we heard a great shout

And we knew for someone else it was the end.

And when the power came on, we were shocked with alarm

For instead of being twelve, we were ten.

Who could have done it?

Who could have done it?

The Andersons were such a nice pair.

Now the owner and his wife, both afraid for their life

So they hurried to the door to run away

But before they got there, there was a whistle through the air

Then another, then they both had passed away.

There were seven of us left now, afraid of death now

But I knew it wasn't me or the Sloans

'Cause when the power went out and we heard the others shout

We were out there in the hallway on the phone.

That left the butler and his wife and the couple named Smythe

And the old scary caretaker too

So the Sloans and I, who were both afraid to die

Had to think of something quick we could do.

So we called the Smythes and the butler and his wife

And we gathered in the drawing room

But before we could call for the caretaker too

It was too late for he had met his doom.

It looked like poison.

That left five, five, five were still alive

The Sloans, the Smythes and myself

Once again the lights went out and I heard a great shout

From both the Smythes and the Sloans.

And then the lights came on again and I looked around again

And everybody was dead and I was alone.

Well, I must have passed out for the next thing I knew

I was awakened with my hands in chains

There was a man with a gun and he said: 'Don't bother, son'

'You'll have plenty of time to explain'.

I was rushed to a car, then taken to a cell

And a lawyer came in and said his name

He said: 'I'm sure you told the truth but the truth is, my boy'

'To believe in the judge would be insane'.

'Now before I pass sentence on you, have you anything to say?'

I said: 'Are you kiddin'?'

I said: 'This must be a dream' - I said: 'This can't be real'

'You don't believe a word that I've said'.

And then he looked me in the eye and said: 'Have mercy on his soul'

And I was hanged by the neck until dead, have mercy.

Hey, wait a minute, hey, stop

Hey, would you mind rewinding that last sentence?

I mean, hanged by the what?

Until when?

Hey, listen, I think you made a little, I mean I think you made a large mistake here

First of all, I was in Colorado having breakfast with a nun, OK?

What do you mean? There's nothing to get hung up about

I mean, you should be in here

Hey, you ever heard of the word appeal?

Well, I'm about to appeal you off that bench in a minute unless you change that decision

Listen, I got a lot, I mean I had a lot of friends in this town

Hey, I want to see my congress man.