Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein?

Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein?

Other girls get called by their first names right away

They get cozy intimate ... do you know what I mean?

Nobody calls me: "hey, baby doll!"

Or "honey dear" or "sweetie pie"

Even my first name would be preferable

Though it's terrible, it might be better: it's yetta!

Or perhaps my second name that's tessye

Spells t-e-s-s-y-E!

But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein!

You'd think at least miss m. they could try...

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Oh, I could die!

I'm a very willing secretary

Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate

Except for one disappointment one fly in the ointment

It's great I mean simply great

But the aggravation of my situation

I might as well get it off my chest

It's the drab appellation

Oh pardon the big words I apply

But I was an english major at c.c.n.y

Drab appellation!

With which I am persistently addressed

Persistently, perpetually, continually and inevitably addressed!

Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic

Why is it always Miss Marmelstein?

Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein?

Other girls get called by their nick names right away

Slightly naughty or risque

Do you know what I mean? ha! ha...mmmmmmm!

Nobody calls me : "koo-chee-koo" or "boobala" or "passion pie"

Even "hey there babe!" thought not respectable

Ain't so objectable

It's kind of crummy but chummy

Of course if I got married, that would do it

So, where's the lucky guy? ha...

Till then it still is Miss Marmelstein!

Everyday I get more and more fussed

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Oh...oh...oh...!

I could bust!