Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Miss Marmelstein!

Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein?

Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein?

Other girls get called by their first names right away

They get cozy intimate... Do you know what I mean?

Nobody calls me "Hey, baby doll!"

Or "Honey Dear" or "Sweetie Pie"

Even my first name would be preferable

Though it's terrible, it might be better: it's Yetta!

Or perhaps my second name that's Tessye

Spells T-E-S-S-Y-E!

But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein!

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Miss Marmelstein!

Oh, I could die!

I'm a very willing secretary

Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate

Except the one disappointment

One fly in the ointment

It's great! I mean simply great!

But the aggravation of my situation

I might as well get it off my chest

It's the drum appellation

Ah, pardon the big words I apply

But I was an English major at C.C.N.Y.

The drum appellation!

Well, literally I am persistently addressed

Persistently, perpetually,

Continually, inevitable addressed!

Believe me I could drive a person

Positively psychosomatic!

Why is it always Miss Marmelstein?

Miss Marmelstein? Mis Marmelstein?

Other girls get called by their nick names right away

Slithly naughty or risqu?

Do you know what I mean? Ha! Ha...Mmmmmmmm!

Nobody calls me "Koo-Chee-Koo" or "Boobala" or "Passion Pie"

Even "Hey There Babe!" Thought not respectable

Ain't no objectable

It's kind of crummy, but chummy

Of course if I got married, that would do it

So, where's the lucky guy? Ha...

Till then it still is Miss Marmelstein!

Every day I get more and more fast

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!

Oh - I could bust!