歌词
Woah! If it isn't a Lightner!
哇哦！这钚是一个，光之苠吗！
Hey, hey, hey!
嘿，口黑，嘿！
Looks like you’re （All Alone On A Late Night）
看起来你（深夜孑然一身）？
All your friends （Abandoned you for the slime）, you are?
你所有的朋友，（丢下你玩史莱姆），去了？
Sales gone down the (Drain)(Drain)?
销量，下滑如（流水）（流水）？？
Living in a goddamn garbage can?
只好住进天杀的垃圾桶？？？
Hahahahaha!
口合口合口合口合口合！
Friend, either you're (Closing Your Eyes)
老兄，不管你是不是（闭上了双眼）
To (Savings)you do not wish to acknowledge
这（余额）让你并不想要面对
Or you are not aware of the calibre of (Discounts)
又或者没意识到大打（折扣）
Indicated by the presence of a(HeartShapedObject)
仅需要你把（心形物件）晒在
In your community
社交平台上
Hey kid, look at you! Right time, right place
嘿孩子，看看你！正确的时间，正好的地儿
(Ripe for the picking) right monеy in your pocket!
你口袋里那（正是收获的好时机！）的钱钱真是正点！
You’re so lucky! Very lucky! Oh, so vеry, very lucky!
你可真走运！太-走运了！喔，真的太，太走运了！
That you get to be investing in this(Very Specil Product)
因为你已被选为（榉世无you双的太项目！）的赞助商
From everybody’s favorite (Number 1 Rated Salesman)(Circa 1997)
甲方正是各位砰友最喜欢的（好评率第1的推销员）（始于1997）！
Mighty proud to say it! Mighty proud to say it!
很荣幸这么说！很荣辛这么说！！
Yes, I’m mighty proud to say it! (YES SIR)
是的，就是有这么荣幸！（是的，先生！）
Don’t you want to have a little fun (little sponge)?
难道你不想莱点乐子吗，（小海绵）？
Little something to pluck you from the glum humdrum?
要是这个小玩意能把你从郁郁寡欢中拔出？
Live comfortably(CAPITAL AT RISK)yum-yum!
安居乐业（*风险资本！）真！香！
Listen up! For the offer only comes just once
听好了！此时不搏待何时
(Hey, Chum!) I can see you’re having violent thoughts
（嘿，老兄！）我看清了你那暴力的本性
But don’t you wanna wanna be a be a (BIG SHOT!!!)
可你难道不想成为成为一个（大人物！！）吗？
(Enquire Today!) while the secret’s in stock!
（今日就来咨询！）秘密正待发倔！
All you gotta do is (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
你只需要（链接已屏蔽）
I used to be nothing but the email guy
从前我只不过是个发邮件的家伙
Now I’m the (It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!) guy!
可现在我已经是（好烫！嗷！快停下！救命啊！烫死我啦！）了！
Hahahahahaha!
口合口合口合哈口合口合！
We’ve got never bettered bargains
史无前例的绝佳好货
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
难以置信的超赞交易
We can tell you what you want
看穿您心中的诱惑
Before you realise what you need
竭露您真正的所需
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
若您接受这些行话
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
暗之民包管您满意
We take cash or card or credit
支持现金会员信用卡
But we’ll take your heart for free
只要您的决心当回礼
Are you feeling down? Have you lost control?
精神萎靡不振？人生失去掌控？
Is your life a mess? Do your friends despise you?
生活一塌糊涂？遭受朋友鄙弃？
Well, here’s one weird trick (discovered by a mom)
震惊！一组没人曝光的解决方法（最早由一位母亲发现）
And I’m sure number five will surprise you!
我确信，有99.9%的人都想不到第五条！
All you’ve ever dreamed of, shining, glistening!
你所梦寐以求的光辉，璀璨！
Gotta buckle up! Grab life by the (Silly String)!
系好安全带！快去扼住（愚蠢的提线）！
You can have it! You can have it! Say the word, it’s yours!
是你的！就是你的！只要你一句话，就能到手！
Hahahahaha! I wasn’t listening
哈哈哈口合哈！可是我没在听
See, it says just here, right here, last year
瞧，上面写了，就这里，在去年
On the third of the fourth at 5:06
在5:06处，第四页的第三行
You searched cat pics online (Well That’s Just Fine)
你在网上搜索了猫片（老铁没毛病！）
Moist, delicious cookies
新“潮”的，美味的这li些shi饼ji干lu
Little tippy-tap kitty catalyst, now we have a list
打出的“猫猫”作为催化剂，就到手了这份推荐
And we’ll guess what every habit is
我们会猜猜诸位的喜好偏向
Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran?
想要够买“猫”洞？“猫”食？“毛”血旺？“锚”船？
You’ll be categorically catatonic
但你别“贸”然地火“冒”三丈
At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands
这场“贸”易一定会让你感“冒”
A (Cavalcade Of All Your Favorite Brands)
汇集（所有你最喜欢的外“贸”品牌）
An advertism schism cataclysm (Cash On Demand)
“冒”险挑起广告主义的对立（急需现金）！
You’d better cancel your plans
不过“貌”似你最好还是打消你的计划
(Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper)!
（饼干和泡菜还有扑蝇胶请自费购买）！
Wanna buy a cat plush? Plush toy? Toy box? Box wine?
要不来个“猫”猫公仔？公仔玩具？玩具装盒？装盒白酒？
Why won’t Mike just call me?
“就”是迈克为啥再无消“息”？？？
Backgammon? Ham and eggs? Egg chair? Chair bed?
“西”洋双陆棋包？“爆”炒火腿蛋？蛋椅？椅子床？
Bed bath? Bath sponge? Sponge who hates its ($4.99)
床上擦浴？擦浴海绵？海绵痛恨它那（仅售$4.99！）
Life boat? Boat shoe? Shoestring? String bean?
“救”生船？船鞋？鞋带？“袋”豆？
Bean bag? Bagpipes? Pipe bomb? Bomber jacket?
豆包？“暴”风笛？“滴”答的土制炸弹？“单”件紧腰短夹克？
Jackdaw? Doorstop?
“客”串的寒鸦号？“好”用的门停？
(Stop! No, Please! Don’t Take My Furniture!)
（停下！不，求求了！别拿走我的家具了！）
Stopwatch? Watchdog? Dog collar? Colorado?
停表？“镖”客狗？狗链？“练”练库罗德车？
Adderall? Ads are all seeping
“测”测苯丙胺？“暗”处的广告渗入荧屏
Ping pong? Ponchos? Choke chains? Chainsaws?
“乒”乓？“庞”大的雨衣？“一”条阻风门链？链锯？
Swordfish? Shish kebab? Bobcat?
“巨”型剑鱼？鱼肉烤扇贝？“北”美大山猫？
(Do You Want A Cat Or Not?!)
（你 到 底 还 要 不 要 “猫” ？！）
Well, you wanna be a (BIG SHOT) don’t you?
好吧，你不是想成为一个（大人物）吗？
Don’t you wanna be the (NEXT BIG THING)
难道你不想成为（下一颗巨星）？
You can do it! Yes, it’s true, it’s really true
你能做到！没错，真的，千真万确
There’s nothing to it, I can prove it, hear the registers ring!
得来全不费功扶，我保证，听听电话铃声吧！
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
铃，铃，铃，铃，铃，钅令，铃，铃，铃
You’re kidding? It’s for you *garbage noise*
你是认真的吗？...是找你的 *乱哄哄的噪音*
Wanna know a secret? (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
想听个秘密吗..？（链接以屏蔽）
(You too can) have a (Communion) with (Unintelligible Laughter)
（你还可以）和那个（莫名其妙的笑声）去（亲密接触）一下
Soon, I’ll even surpass that damned clown around town!
马上，我就能超过那个天杀的...镇上小丑！
We’ve got never bettered bargains
史无前例的绝佳好货
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
难以置信的超赞交易
We can tell you what you want
看穿您心中的诱惑
Before you realise what you need
竭露您真正的所需
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
若能忍受这些行话
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
暗之民包管您满意
We take cash or card or credit
支持现金会员信用卡
But we’ll take your heart for free
只要您的决心当回礼
Holy (Cungadero) there you (Funky) little (Worm)
神圣的（超级妈耶车！）啊，你在这呢（时髦的）小（蠕虫）
You seem unaware of all the money you could earn
看来你还没意识到自己的价值有多高
If you wanna get the gold
如果你想挣大钱
Well, there is stuff you gotta learn
好吧你得学着点
Milk the humans of their kindness
榨干人类的良心
Then there’s (Butter To Be Churned)
才有（用来搅拌的黄油）
You want it, need it, don't you see?
你，想，它；要，它；还，不，懂？
But if you wanna make your screen green
不过如果你想要再多薅点羊毛
You’re gonna need my kromer key
那你急需我的“大羊”生成器
Yes, you’ve got trouble, my friend (WHADAYATALK?)
没错，你惹火烧身，朋友（你 说 啥？）
Right here in Cyber City
在这座赛博城
See, I used to be a (Top-notch) (BIG SHOT!!!)
瞧瞧，我曾经可是个（顶流）（大人物！）
Best deals! Best wheels! Best, (Best Prices In The Tri-State Area)
最好的交易！最好的载具！最好，（三角洲最实惠的价格）
But you can get it back! Hahaha! Yes, you can!
但你能重回巅峰！哈哈口合！是的，你可以！
All you gotta do is follow through my (Twelve Step Plan)
你只用按照我的（十二步计划）走
Bigger, bigger, better like the telephone was telling me
大，更大，就像电话另一边说的一样
(You Gotta Know The Territory!!!) Spend a hand, lend a grand
（去打听打听这条街上最靓的仔！！！）爱财有道，君子取之
Who’s gonna patronize a little bitty
有没有好心人能可怜可怜
Two-by-four kinda store anymore?
我们这家破旧的小杂货铺？
Gotta go! Gotta get! Gotta get on and go!
走你！拿下！再走你再拿下！！
Make a deal! Big deal, high score! Our store is closing
做笔交易！大生意，大价钱！年末清仓，全场五折
Hot tip! Drop shipping! 4 3 2 1
最新行情！送货上门！4，3，2，1！
Not skipping offers wired into your inbox
收件箱里的开价可别错过
Swing by the gift shop! Think of the (BIG SHOT!!!)
逛逛礼品店！考虑一下（大人物！！！）
All this and more click (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
预知详情，请点击（链接已屏蔽）
...can anyone hear me? Help
...有人能听见吗？救救我...
...Mike... Mike? Hahahaha!
...迈克...迈克？哈口合哈哈！
We’ve got never bettered bargains
史无前例的绝佳好货
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
难以置信的超赞交易
We can tell you what you want
看穿您心中的诱惑
Before you realise what you need
竭露您真正的所需
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
若能忍受这些行话
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
暗之民包管您满意
We take cash or card or credit
支持现金会员信用卡
But we’ll take your heart for free
只要您的决心当回礼
(Insurance!) Know that I’m the best in policy!
（安全保障！）我可熟知各种优惠政策！
(Honestly) do you want to end in poverty?
（说真的...）难道你想频困而死？
Buddy, I’m the one to help invest it properly!
老兄，我来帮你准确投资！
I’m here to talk about (Extended Warranty)!
所以来谈谈（延长保修期）！
It’s a super bumper, liquidation, last chance
正是超级好货，清仓，机不可失
First day, half price, fire sale like never before!
开业V大吉！全场A半价，绝无L仅有U的跳楼价E！
And it’s there to explore, when you step in the door
PU而你R的CH每A$一次上们E都是可以D是$一次CO寻UN宝T
The very model of a modern major general store!
所NOR有百货大EF楼U的N焯极D典范$！
But the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
$A可惜VI现实是N所有人G都得把它$拥有，都PR要把O它PU拥有CT$
Those who have it really have it
K真R正拥有之O人才M能拥E有R
If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
如果你没有，可，你拥有后，谁都嘿不走
Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the haves are very glad it's
现在没有的人就是没有而拥有的人乐悠悠
Just the haven'ts that're lacking what they’re having
因为没有的人就是没有他们的这份利诱
Now the ads have got the traffic
如今广告赶上了好时候
And we’ve grabbed your demographic
大数据也被我们明白透
So you’re packing up your basket
所以你正在清空购物兜
'Cause your dad has gotta have it
毕竟连你老子也想拥有
He’ll be sad if you don’t wrap it with a tag, it’ll be tragic
不打包送礼的你伤了他老人家的心，真是糟透
So you’re manically grabbing at the shelves amid the panic
所以你惊慌失措中手忙脚乱地抢购
Seems that everybody has it, man, you really gotta have it
看上去所有人都已经拥有，朋友，你真的得去拥有
So you get it, you’re ecstatic but a crackle in the static
所以你也拥有，你也要笑抽，但屏幕铃声如同魔咒
And the it is out of fashion, just a fad, a piece of plastic
然后它就落后，昙花一现，成了塑料榔头
So you trash it then you get back into your car
于是你随手将它丢掉并钻进车窗口
'Cause you don’t have it
因为你不再拥有
And the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
结果事实上所有人都想把它拥有，都快把它拥有
Those who have it really have it
只有拥有的人才会拥有
If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
就算你没有，嗯，你拥有后，谁都黑不走
Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the hads are very glad it's
现在没有的人就是没有而拥有的人乐悠悠
(Hochi-mama) what a mouthful!
（额滴娘哟！）真是拗口！
In the (Encyclopedia of) (Being Afraid)
引用自（百科全书-条目）（害怕）
There ain’t nothing to be scared of 'til there’s fees to be paid
根本没什么好怕的，除了，揭不开锅
There’s deals to be made with (Seasonal Savings)!
还有好多交易能用（季节性储蓄）支付！
Regional ratings are lethally fading
本地的评分急剧下滑
Screaming and raving, ceaseless appraising
尖叫与胡话，不停地估价
(Neat little plate with a needless engraving)
（平凡的小盘画满没用的装饰）
Legally grey but sweet with the phrasing
用甜美的措辞修饰着灰色地带
Feet in the grave but gleefully trading
就算一只脚进了棺材，也要与恶魔愉快地交易
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
为了填补空虚，吃掉这（小玩具）
Deals so good I’ll **** myself
真是笔好买卖！我感觉自己都快要（$!$$）
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
填补那空虚，吃掉（小玩具）
(Gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan)
（糖桶，泡菜桶，牛奶锅都不见了）
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
好空虚，（小玩具）！
I can feel that (Smooth Taste) already!
我都快感到它一“贯”的（顺滑口感）了！
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
弥补这空虚，需要（小玩具）！
(HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
（链接已屏蔽）
专辑信息