Hate Your Guts

When I was 17, I wished I was 23

When I hit 23, I wished I was 17

Now I'm almost 29, I wish I was 85

It would be statistically unlikely you'd be alive

Because I hate your guts

Shit I hate you so much

I hope you suffer a small paper cut

I hope your boss makes you stay for a half hour more

Because I hate your guts

And I wish I didn't love you anymore

I hate the way you breathe

The stupid way you sneeze

I hate everything you eat

And I'm stuck in your teeth

The way you steal the sheets

When we go to bed

As I guessed they're a hole in the back of your head

Because I hate your guts

Shit I hate you so much

I hope the battery dies on your phone

I hope your favourite TV show fails to record

Because I hate your guts

And I wish I didn't love you anymore

Wish I didn't love you

Woah

Wish I didn't love you

Woah

Wish I didn't love you

Woooaaah

I hope when I'm out on tour

You lose your keys to the door

Because I hate your guts

And I wish I didn't love you anymore

Wish I didn't love you

Woah

Wish I didn't love you

Woah

Wish I didn't love you

Woooaaah

So you must be mistaken,

If you want to date me,

You'd be more respected,

If you were to hate me,

There's so many warnings

You choose to ignore

Because I hate your guts,

And I wish I didn't love you anymore...

I hate your guts!