Anything Goes

Times have changed

And we've often rewound the clock

Since the Puritans got a shock

When they landed on Plymouth Rock.

If today

Any shock they should try to stem

'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,

Plymouth Rock would land on them.

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking

Was looked on as something shocking.

But now, God knows, Anything goes.

Good authors too who once knew better words

Now only use four-letter words

Writing prose.

Anything goes.

If driving fast cars you like,

If low bars you like,

If old hymns you like,

If bare limbs you like,

If Mae West you like,

Or me undressed you like,

Why, nobody will oppose.

When ev'ry night the set that's smart is in-

Truding in nudist parties in

Studios.

Anything goes.

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)

Can get Russian reds to "yes" her,

Then I suppose

Anything goes.

When Rockefeller still can hoard enough money to let Max Gordon

Produce his shows,

Anything goes.

The world has gone mad today

And good's bad today,

And black's white today,

And day's night today,

And that gent today

You gave a cent today

Once had several chateaux.

When folks who still can ride in jitneys

Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys

Lack baby clo'es,

Anything goes.

If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction

Instruct Anna Sten in diction,

Then Anna shows

Anything goes.

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up

Now turns a handspring landing up-

On her toes,

Anything goes.

Just think of those shocks you've got

And those knocks you've got

And those blues you've got

From that news you've got

And those pains you've got(If any brains you've got)

From those little radios.

So Missus R., with all her trimmin's,

Can broadcast a bed from Simmons

'Cause Franklin knows

Anything goes.