Override

Pins & needles in the heart of my heart

And a typewritten lowercase “e.” at the crook of my arm

Heavy lifting and I’m stuck with myself

But it’s purely elective engagement with everyone else

Detach your shadow

“Go Fish!” your tarot

Fling your unnameable fate at a crease in the wall

Trace your timeline to the moment you flinched

And gently suggest that you don’t let it happen again

I need an override

Queasy listening to the pace of your breath

Counting the credible pathways to peace that I’ve left

Sea of eggshell and your blood on my hands

I’m wired to wait but I’ve waited as long as I can

Kick the tires

Pile the pyre

Float your unfaceable fate at the edge of the earth

Pin your timeline to the safest you’ve felt

And then strongly insist you won’t settle for anything else

I need an override

No more future tripping

No more bleeding out the history

No more arguing the answer

When the answer isn’t easy

No conditional forgiveness

No more narrative addiction

No more paying with my present

They can’t take what I don’t let them

I need an override