Interlude 5 - Live

You all doin' alright? You ok?

I'm not screamin' at ya, I'm just askin' you a question

Y'all givin' me a clap

A yes is fine ok?

I love that song

Thank you praise God

I tell you, I know everybody's in the same mess, I'm telling you, we all are

I know that, you know, and I'm just, you know

I'll be the first to tell you, you know, I'm a mess and God is dealing with me everyday

And everyday I'm trying, you know, how I can be less of a mess

'Cause you know, he showed me

Look Lauryn, you know, You're the problem, ok

I'm going to show you how you're causing the problem

And now I want you to be the solution

And that's what all of these songs are about

Just, problem, cause and solution

Free your mind

It's like, we all think that the gospel is join and church building, and that's deception, you know

The real gospel is repent, which means 'let go of all that crap,' that's killin' ya

Life was supposed to be a pleasurable experience, not this torment, you know

And when I realized that I was tormenting myself, it was about my lust

It wasn't about things that I needed it was just, you know, all these security blankets

I mean, the more I acquired I became more of a prisoner

I mean, you know, forty people on staff, and you can't do nothing, and now creativity is impossible

Because all you can think about is all these folks that you know

You're supporting and carryin' and you know it's not good

You know, everybody a friend of mine says that every tub has to stand on it's own bottom, you know

And in that respect, we all get to do what our passion is

See that's what praisin' God is all about, is doing your passion

You know, it's not useless, worthless ritual, you know, monotonous ritual

Where we just show up and can't wait to see the game, you know

It's doing your passion and fulfilling your passion, you know

That's how we're thankful

That's how we say we appreciate the opportunity to be alive

And I'm just glad that I, you know, I don't have to slave anymore

You know, 'cause I, music was my love

And because of everything I thought had to accompany my music it became my burden

It just got stolen from me, I said, What is this?

How did this thing that I love so much so easily and so quickly turn to something I loath and hate?

And so now, you know, I understand that it was because I was measuring myself

Or trying to compare myself to a standard that wasn't reality

It wasn't the standard at all, you know

There's a scripture in the Bible that we, what does it say

It says 'We compare ourselves amongst ourselves' you know

That's not the standard, you already are the standard

What are you trying to fit into a standard for?

We were each created to be individual standards, you know

And we're tryna fit into a standard? It doesn't make any sense, you know

So now I'm just, you know, after all that, I'm just ready to be me

And it's a lot to work through, you know

Because all of us have hidden in these little boxes purposely

Because of parts of ourselves that we were unhappy about

And it's because we didn't understand, you know

Because there's all this social doctrine that says, you know

That the infinite God, with all this expression, who created every single one of us

Absolutely different, on purpose, wants everybody to fit into the same suit

But like, you know, that's deception, that's deception

Ok, let me just, I think this is the wrong one

I don't think this is the right one

We took, we were in, um, Florida this weekend

And we took the kids to Disneyworld, and um

You know we were going, they gave us a tour

So they escorted us through the back

And when they escorted us through the back

We got to see how, you know, there all these people workin' all hard

And it was like, real dirty back there, and of course, in the front it was all immaculately clean

And I said, I said, you know

People need to see the reality, they need to see, you know, how these people slave to maintain this illusion

And it felt like my life, I said, If people only knew what it was. It's like, you know

A bunch of musicians, listen, bustin' their 'mm' workin' all hard to make it look easy

What's the point? You know, Oh, uh, I just threw this together, uh

You know, it's like, you know what I'm sayin'? I mean, you know

Slaving, slaving to act like, you know, I wake up like this

And none of us do, you know, none of us do, none of us do

And reality is good 'cause that means everybody could just exhale

Let your belly out, you know, and chill, you know

But people get mad at me when I say, Look, let's stop frontin'

And I'm saying, you know, that's the blessing

Now we can go around and look at each other and say, Oh, you got one too?!

And be free

And we want to defend the curse, I'll tell ya, that was not fun

Did it for a long time, too long

You didn't find it? It's another white one

But you see in my purse or the, the other bag?

Or the green one? Ghetto, you know, it's reality, ok?

Are they ready? Oh let's see

One time, it came to me, you know, I was just told very concretely

You know, it was like that voice, the right one, said to me

He said, Lauryn, you know the real you is more interesting than the fake somebody else

I just want you to know that

Because we always thought we could get, you know

We could get reality by just putting on the clothes and wearin' the face and you know

Lookin' hard in the video, but, you know

Reality is it's like I've always told to my husband, it's like, look, you know

We look at Bob Marley, you know, and we say

Ok, let's just grow locks and wear the clothes and have the band

And we have no many idea how many years of struggle and pain and suffering that made that content

You see what I'm saying? You can't get it from the outside in

Truth is from the inside out, you know

And the way we've been trying to heal and be healed is with these topical, surface, superficial, temporary solution

And I'm telling you, true healing is from the inside out

You know, we've been told to protect our outer man while our inner man is dying

Oh, this is the one, ok

Boy I'll tell ya, God made him for me

I'm something to put up with

And to endure that is amazing

I'll be the first to tell you, trust me

Y'all could clap 'cause that's some real work

I was in there in the room, you know, before we came out here

And he said to me, I said, Ro should I change?

And he said, yeah

So I looked at him, I said

Why did you tell me to change I was comfortable, man

But I asked him the question

So I went in the room and I tried on all these clothes and I was like, I feel like an idiot

So I pulled out all these clothes and I'm sayin, ok Ro, you know

Pack the bag neatly, you know, Could you put the clothes back in?

And he's like, alright

So he's trying to do this but then I'm like

No! now take this out! now put that back and take that out!

Put that back, hold that, take, that, put

The orange shoe! the orange shoe! so I'm like

And then after awhile I just said, Ro baby, could you leave?

Please get out the room, and I just put back on the clothes I came in

Ok, I was like I'm just not there anymore

Nah, I'm telling you. It's like, uh

Hey you know he's learned

Because before we used to just beef and now he's like, Okay

I'm out, oh man it's real

God gave us a brand new relationship, man

I mean, one in truth, you know. It's like, we date people

Like let's say, you know, we're interested in somebody and we put on the perfume and dress up

And then we do things that we will never ever ever do again!

You understand what I'm sayin'? It's like.

And that's why so many marriages end up in divorce

It's because people wake up next to a stranger

They say, 'Who the hell are you?'

What are you doing in this bed?'

Where's that man that used to do 'du, dua, and du'

And I'm sayin' let's give them reality from the door because

You're gonna to attract love, and the one that really loves you

And then you don't have to pretend and falcify, and you know, keep that posture

You know, you know, I can't, I'm just like

I'll never forget when I first met him I said to him, it was like

He saw me eating in front of him, and he told me, he was like

You eat like a man, you must not like me

You know, because, women, usually they keep that posture

And I said, nah, I said it's not even that, you know

It's but, this is reality, this is, you know

And that's it, man, I mean, I'm just telling you

It's so wonderful to finally find

And trust me, it's a work in progress, it's not something that happens overnight

We all have to be introduced to each other

I'm telling you, I know that I'm up here and you see, Lauryn Hill, you came to see Lauryn Hill

But this is the first time y'all meet me

You see what I'm saying?

Don't think you met me before, ok

And as I grow, you're going to meet me a little bit more

You're gonna be exposed to the real me a little bit more

I can tell you I had to reintroduce myself to everybody I know

My mother my father, listen, y'all never knew me

I want to introduce you to me, I'm just getting to know me

And you know what, anything that's not growin is dead, so we better be changing

You know, people would say to me, they would hold me hostage

And they, seriously, emotionally hostage, and they'd say, Uh, she's changing

The money's changing her and I'd say listen, the money's not changing me, God's changing me

I'm changing, because that's a natural part of life

We're all supposed to change

Who wakes up and is the same way tomorrow and the day after that?

Nobody is, let the experience teach you and be real, man

And, um there's gonna be warfare involved

Because there's some people who prefer deceptions, see

They say, uh, I don't like this new expression, and I say

What, you want two-thirds of me to stay outside?

I'm a whole person

You can't say, you know, two-thirds of Lauryn, come in here

Only two-thirds is acceptable, I'm a whole person

You know, and that's everybody, you always talk about spiritual warfare and we did

Didn't realize that it was in relationships

It's emotional warfare, being able to tell the people we love the most the truth about ourselves

And when they say, Hey that doesn't fit into our box for you

We say, Well, I ain't in no box

Don't try to put me in one

I'm going to play a little bit of guitar with this one, but I might

I might stop it's 'cause I really want you to listen to the words

So if I stop, you understand why, I want you to really hear the words