A Fine Romance

A fine romance with no kisses

A fine romance, my friend, this is

You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean

At least they flap their fins to express emotion

A fine romance with no clinches

A fine romance with no pinches

You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France

I haven't got a chance, this is a fine romance

A fine romance, my good woman

My strong, aged-in-the-wood woman

You never give the orchids, I send a glance

No, you like cactus plants, this is a fine romance