This Changes Nothing

Now you can be sad, or numb, that’s the option I been given

Between the two I think I’d rather, just be done with living

Now I'm lying to the doctor, just to stay off of prescriptions

I would rather die whole than to live with something missing

Besides they can’t prescribe the things I really need

Love and some good friends rolling up some weed

She’s saying that my anger always gets the best of me

You’re just covering the symptoms, you’re not curing the disease

No I think you’re bipolar, you need to go to therapy

It’s not that I don’t love you it’s just that you're kind of scaring me

How it feels to know the ones I love are scared of me

Like they can’t take me anywhere, I’m always so embarrassing

Today my shattered life is in shambles

Try to move on, but it seems I’m at a standstill

So I spend most of my time all by myself

So when I self harm at least I hurt nobody else

Now I’m so far gone

I’m not sure why I’m holding on

Don’t you tell me it’s okay no nothings’s ever been so wrong

Cause I hate living in my skin

I tried so hard I don’t fit in

Maybe one day I’ll come home and you can waste my time again

What you know about emotions that control you?

What you know about it when they say they miss the old you

The suicidal one who figured out some things instead

Now they say they liked you better when you wished that you were dead

Well I guess now you’re getting your request here it is

2020 almost killed me ‘21 could do the trick

What you know about only getting through the night because

If you can wait another year you’ll get to join the 27 club

A lot of things changed, new whip new bracket

Put another friend in a baby blue casket

Another month spent crying in my basement

Ask me where my glock is

Ask me how my day went

How do I explain my life is like an empty frame

Like a stencil that’s still waiting to be drawn onto the page

Saying everything is fine

Yeah I’ll be okay

While I dream of my own suicide every fvcking day

Now I’m so far gone

I’m not sure why I’m holding on

Don’t you tell me it’s okay no nothings’s ever been so wrong

Cause I hate living in my skin

I tried so hard I don’t fit in

Maybe one day I’ll come home and you can waste my time again

All I do is overthink

Throw me in now and watch me sink

Always anxious I can’t breath

I just want to get some sleep

I’m in pain

All I know eternal disdain

Trying to improve enhancing my mood

But I know pretty soon it’s back to my ways

Back to my roots and back to my vices

Starting a new my mental health crisis

I’m no prize see through my disguises

Jakovite been radicalized it’s time it’s