Airport Piano

I wrote this song on an airport piano

I was the guy disturbing your journey from security

To gate 23A

Maybe you noticed me?

I wrote this song cos I had a spare hour

I was delayed trying to get back to my babies in Sydney

And I noticed the keys so I'm writing a song

Singin'!!

Women in SUV Porsches always look miserable

I don't know why they're so sad

Maybe it's the calories they coulda had

Filling them up with regret?

And men in cafes in ski resorts

Trying to connect with their sons

Look like they just wanna hit 'em!

I mean I'm sure that they dig 'em underneath all the gear

a yong man in Air Jordans

Just left me five dollars on the piano

whattaya know?

I always hated those airport pianos

Should be a law saying playing the theme from Beverly Halls Cop

Will get one of your hands chopped off!

I wrote this song on an airport piano

I'm out of time I just need one more little rhyme

I gotta board that plane

They're calling my name

So I'm writing a song

Singin'!!

Women in SUV Porsches always look miserable

Or is it only the Botox

They stick in their face to keep their looks from slipping

They're kicking the can down the road

And men in mansions on cul-de-sacs

Having ther midlife affairs

With the wife or a banker

Where the banker is banging Biancay

But sadly they're still gonna die

A guy buying Subway

Anxiously digs through his cabin bag

Smiles when his wallet is found

Pays for his six-inch

Then forgets that his bag is unzipped

So the contents of it

Is disgorged

And a jar of Viagra spills onto the ground

So it goes

Women in SUV porsches always look miserable

And I know why they're so sad:

They thought they'd be happier than they were in their Fords

But now they're bored of their Porsches

And they're looking for more

They're out there shopping for more

And their husband's so fat in his new Lycra shorts

Trying to peddle his way back to ninety-four

Trying to wind back the clock to before

To before they had this boat and this house

And this buy-to-let mortgage

To before they had bought all the thing that they thought

Would fiil up the hole but the goal keeps receding

His hair is receding

There's a book he's been reading for six months

But the words just swim round the pages

And god it's been ages since they made love

And the kids are on drugs

With there ADHD and their anxiey

And their music is shit

And the time just keeps slipping away

And I'm sitting here playing and singing

And they are calling my name

Cos your flight's gotta go when your flight's gotta go

And I wrote this song on an airport piano

This piano was desecrated by ... Tim Minchin