Politiclash

-----Hillary Clinton-----

Uh 5-6-7-8

Hi, Hillary here

Woman up

Been in power for many a year

Spent a decade or three in political spheres

You say I'm just first lady

you're killin me here

Strolling up to the Whitehouse, I never forget

The smell of carpe diem carpet bombs

and ceiling the debt

Back when I operated Bill

like a marionett

Sporting Gepetto stilettos

taking on ghettos and terror threats

Then real boy toyed

with the wrong brunette

Pinocchioing poking around

to get his wood wet

Still eight years running,

didn't break a sweat

Left with my head on my shoulders

I'm no Marie Antoinette

My speed is breakneck, take checks

won't apologize for the upset

Didn't die with my man

this ain't no Romeo, Juliet

Mama's back for the votes

just call me suffragette

Forget Bill

I'm an à la carte oligarch and I'm crushing it

Hi, Clinton is back

Suit up

In a pants suit and on the attack

Brute up

Protecting people from here to Iraq

Gonna pick up that torch from Barack

You can sing hallelujah

but I'm too much to Handel

Forget Shonda Rhymes

I invented the Scandal

Benghazi Nazi paparazzi

come and stir up another fuss

Call TIME magazine

I'm the queen of the cover ups

Gonna kick ass and take blames

Upper class, I'll take aim

Put Bernie in an urn and

fight the fanboy fanned flames

I'm hyper activist, The lion

elephant's nemesis

An emotional strategist

black mamba, I'm venomous

Wrathful warrior pacifist

channel Yahweh in Genesis

I'm the gaudiest godliest

godless minimal feminist

I'm HRC New election new me

All hail the female in 2016

-----Donald Jianguo-----

Uh, Hillary. Can i talk?

No?

‘Terrific

So we're supposed to elect you

just because you're a woman

You're less likable than Cruz

and he looks like a melting snowman

Such excitement for indictment

this email thing's a bad omen

Getting cold, better run to Putin

before you get Snowden

Don't be alarmed, it's just me

the real Donald Trump

I'm here to smear to give your ladies

and your ratings a bump

You pumped?

I'm the buyer's choice to make America great again

Mission's simple

give permission to let Americans hate again

Speaking of which, Obama's a Muslim

talk about foreign aid

Where was he born? Africa?

I popped out in suede

And hey, when life gave me millions

I made billionaide

Best served on ice with a plate

of Barack O'BBQ in the shade

Money money money mon---ey

Took my casino earnings

brought some cash to the party

Just spent a weekend at Bernie's

now we're crashing the parties

Poaching establishment voters on a Ferrari safari

Talkin a big game sippingon some fascist Bacardi

Jk I don't drink

I have self control

Unless you're not-white

Rosie O'Donnel, or an internet troll

Blew up Republican politics like the law was Sharia

Made Chris Christie my bitchie

Turned Carson into Madea

Ted held hands with Fiorina while my fans filled arenas

Poor bruised abused Cruz

I stole his role in God's Not Dead 3-uh

Bernie, baby, take notes from a true inside outsider

You're a dumbfounded dumb founder

of a movement that floundered

Your camp can riot at my rallies

but don't show up to fight

Things get messy when teens start exercising their rights

-----Bernie Sanders-----

So you're worth millions

well I'm a meme, that's my net worth

I'm set, working the net

go on and keep your networks

I'm gonna polarize ya, pulverize ya

separate the truth from lies

Can't stop the young people

Bernie's gonna youthenize ya

I'm new and old fashioned

hi, I'm Bernie Sanders

I came from the streets of Brooklyn

to be your chief commander

I meander gerrymandering and slander from a witch

Which, by the by

is why I pitched a campaign for the no-rich niche

Funded by Americans

Bernie's super packless

No corruption, no greed

I'm like a shamwow, no mess

Hit the campaign trail with black sails

Eff the police I'm freeing the black males

Stall white collar low ballers

from tipping cash to tip the scales

Gonna fill the jails with laymen

Hope their souls are worth the savings

Misbehave in the Caymens

Trump, you're gonna go to hell for your havens, oh boy

Hey Satan, is this seat taken?

America's gotta white-collar cravin

I'm the second most popular socialist

Jew gettin praised in this nation

If ya got a couple millions

you'll be revolushunned

I got 99 problems, but my percent ain't 1