99 Problems

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a ************* ain't one

[Verse One]

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol

Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed

Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes"

I'm from the hood stupid what type of facts are those

If you grew up with holes in your zapatos

You'd celebrate the minute you was having dough

I'm like ************* critics you can kiss my whole asshole

If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward

Got beef with radio if I don't play they show

They don't play my hits well I don't give a *************t SO

Rap mags try and use my black ass

So advertisers can give em more cash for ads...******s

I don't know what you take me as

or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has

I'm from rags to riches ************* I ain't dumb

I got 99 problems but a ************* ain't one

Hit me

[Chorus]

99 Problems but a ************* ain't one

If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a ************* ain't one

Hit me

[Verse Two]

The year is '94 and in my trunk is raw

In my rear view mirror is the mother ******g law

I got two choices yall pull over the car or

bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor

Now I ain't trying to see no highway chase with jake

Plus I got a few dollars I can fight the case

So I...pull over to the side of the road

And I heard "Son do you know why I'm stopping you for?"

Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low

Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know

Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo?

"Well you was doing fifty five in a fifty four"

"License and registration and step out of the car"

"Are you carrying a weapon on you I know a lot of you are"

I ain't stepping out of *************t all my papers legit

"Do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"

Well my glove compar**ent is locked so is the trunk and the back

And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that

"Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or something?"

"Or somebody important or something?"

Nah I ain't passed the bar but I know a little bit

Enough that you won't illegally search my *************t

"Well see how smart you are when the K-9's come"

I got 99 problems but a ************* ain't one

Hit me

[Chorus X2]

[Verse Three]

Now once upon a time not too long ago

A ************* like myself had to strong arm a hoe

This is not a hoe in the sense of having a *************

But a ************* having no God Damn sense, try and push me

I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord

Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform

You know the type loud as a motor bike

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma get to clapping

He and his boys gon' be yapping to the captain

And there I go trapped in the kit kat again

Back through the system with the riff raff again

Fiends on the floor scratching again

Paparazzi's with they cameras snapping them

D.A. tried to give the ************* the shaft again

Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African

All because this fool was harrassin' them

Trying to play the boy like hes saccarin

But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how I hold my gun

I got 99 problems but being a ************* ain't one

Hit me

[Chorus X3]

You're crazy for this one Rick

It's your boy