Vending Machine of Love

(from OnlyCans thirst date)

(song by the Stupendium)

(stup:"a dear friend recently asked me to compose a theme song for his new game.")

("this is that theme song.")

("I would like to formally apologise in advance.")

(please LIKE and SUBSCRIBE.)

this is a song,about soft drinks.

and nothing else.

get your mind out of the gutter.

*puff

Hey guys

Are your lips dry?

Any desiccated ladies trying to get by?

I know the best way for the girls and the boys to

Come together and enjoy a little MOISTURE

So you're waiting on the mate that's one-a-million?

And carbonation ain't the way that you envisioned

You say it's strange but baby shed your inhibitions

And let your date slip into something ALUMINIUM

*Blueberry Tart

She's elegant

And eloquent

And so effervescent

Subtle bubbles in my stubble

Feeling ever so pleasant

Never thought I'd find a girl

With such a delicate essence

Free with the meal deal

At the delicatessen

Saw you sitting in the fridge with a twinkle

Are you a multy-pack Can?

Or are you single?

A little sipping and a spritz isn't sinful

I'm just finna get my finger in your ring pull

So slot your pennies in the Vending Machine of Love

And pick that fizzy little minx

That you've been dreaming of

If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man

You Can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans

Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill

So I hope that you Can handle three-thirty mil

Get lost in the froth as the foam expands

Get your loving

While you're glugging on some OnlyCans

Now you've seen other paysite galleries

But none of those girls taste like raspberries

So if you think we're just some obscene Cannery

All our Cans are 18+

Calories

So,give a spray

For some flirtatious behaviour

That come-hither hiss

Is what you came for

We've been brewing up a plethorra of flavours!

*CherryPop

Say we're crude

You Can never say we're tasteless

So if you drink it straight or with a mixer

Bring a mister or a missus home for dinner

Everybody's got a different fizzle in their spritzer

What's it matter what ingredients

Are on your sticker?

I haven't met you all

But it's contextual

You're all impeccable

If it's consensual

If you're ACE-

DEMI-

PAN-

FLEXIBLE-

End of the day we are all

CAN-SEXUAL

So slot your pennies in the Vending Machine of Love

And pick that fizzy little minx

That you've been dreaming of

If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man

You Can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans

Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill

So I hope that you Can handle three-thirty mil

We Can SEMI-guarantee that we won't be banned

Get your loving

While you're glugging on some OnlyCans

May be fizzy

But I'll spit a little Candour

Sure it's sticky

But we'll lick the spillage after

There's only one app

For tin Can philanderers

Snapping what the Can did

With your Candid Camera

UH!

Can a Can Can-Can?

Yes it Can

All the Cans in Cannes are

Canuck Cans in Canada

Manly Cans in Canberra in Canoes

Grabbing noodles and Canoodling with Cans in Can Tho?

MexiCan Cans in Cancún

SCandalously sCantily Clad in their sCanties

And deCanting at you

Camping with a SCandinavian Can

Under a Canopy,alone in a Canyon

With your Can boo

Share a Cannoli with Italian Cans

On the Canals before a Candlelit dance

Then Canter off to Canterbury

For a Canny romance

You better Cancel your plans

This Can-sanova Can't handle the demand

Of Cantabrian Can-oritas in Cantinas with fans

On the Canary Islands

Strip Canasta 'til you're down to your pants

And your Can-panion froths over your hand

Damn

These Cantonese Shizes are your creamiest stans

So go over to

Can-bodia

You Can let the local flavour flow over you

Getting down with the hard round Chiomium

Loving's never been so low sodium

Can looking like a snack?

That's a Canapé

Can-paigning like Barack?

That's a Candidate

Can sweet on your tongue?

That's a Candy Cane

Can rocking them guns?

That's some Cannonade

Feel that Can in your heart?

That's a Cannula

Can sends it's regards?

That's a Can-nister

Inquisitive Can?

That's a Canvasser

Insensitive Cans?

Cantankerous!

So slot your pennies in the Vending Machine of Love

And pick that fizzy little minx

That you've been dreaming of

If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man

You Can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans

Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill

So I hope that you Can handle three-thirty mil

Hey!Don't touch,just hold the Cam!

Get your loving

While you're glugging on some OnlyCans

so download OnlyCans,the app sold to lovers.

it's got very high-ratings.

ah oh not,sorry,

it's very hyd-rating.

my mistake.

(End)