Ode to the Bouncer

Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do

No, I haven't had no ****

Lift up the velvet rope

Mr doorman stop teasing

I'm freezing out here

See, I've got friends inside

It's my birthday tonight

And I'm not wearing trainers

Not to mention knickers

It's futile to debate

With St Peter at the gate

Made of protein milkshake

And low carb intake

Cause all in all you're just

Another prick at the door

Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do

Bouncer, hey bouncer,

Bouncer, bounce bounce bouncer

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical

Bouncer, bouncer

Ooh, bouncer, empowered and aroused

I see it in your trousers

And in the way you browse her

Look she's in!

What?! Her dress is up to waterline

***** is clearly borderline

Nose as white as Snow White's, in moonlight

We standing all in front of

Another prick at the door

Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do

Bouncer, hey bouncer,

Bouncer, bounce bounce bouncer

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical

Bouncer, hey bouncer

Bounce bounce bouncer

Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical

So you can play karate

You thick illiterati

I'm a black belt in life

So go home to your ugly wife

You forgot in your wisdom

That window to the ladies room

A whole new possibility for a cat like me

Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do

Bouncer, hey bouncer,

Bouncer, bounce bounce bouncer

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical