A Fine Romance

A fine romance my good fellow.

You take romance I'll take jello.

You' re calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean

At least they flap their fins to express emotion.

A fine romance with no quarells

With no insults and all morals

I've never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants

I never get the chance; this is a fine romance!

A fine romance with no kisses

A fine romance my friends this is

To lack half the thrills that a healthy crime has

We don't have half the thrills that the march of time has.

A fine romance with no clinches

A fine romance with no flinches

You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France

I haven't got a chance.

My heart isn't made of plastic you're the reason I'm sarcastic; 'cause this is a fine fine romance!