Four Days Home

Steven: I got a big deal on this reservation

Trent: Let’s take a step back, and lower expectations

Steven: I’m excited I’m gonna meet your family - finally!

Trent: Going back home, you know it’s complicated.

Steven: But we are gonna have fun!

Trent: Oh, as long as I’m sedated. Four days flat, then, back to NYC.

Trent: It’s just four days home

Trent: That’s about all I can take

Trent: I once stayed a week, and what a big mistake!

Trent: Only four days home

Steven: Stop playing up the drama.

Trent: That’s how I get a character hung up with my Mama!

Steven: Calm down. I got this. Your mom is gonna love me.

Trent: Are you sure you’re ok going there as my roommate?

Steven: We’ve talked about this! We have to start somewhere.

Trent: okay. But remember our mantra: No politics.

Steven: Got it.

Captain: “We’re now landing in historically creek Tex. Enjoy your stay and remember: everything is bigger in Texas! ”

Steven: Hmm, everything’s (bigger)…

Trent: You need to bring it off. Momma!

Momma: I got the whole town over from Parkland. Everyone’s excited to see you!

Trent: Raise yourself.

Trent!

Momma: Have a biscuit or tea.

Leave it.

Hey what’s your laugh? Who’s your friend?

Momma: Roommate. Steven.

Yes!

We’re flying our con turkey on the lawn.

Spend our days around the Ping-pong table.

Spend our nights, enjoying Christian cable

Forty-eight more hours and then we’re gone!

It’s just four days home

Steven: God I love the scenery and those big blue skies

Trent: But I’ve got allergies to greenery.

Four days home

Lots of eatin’, lots of praying

Lots of learning about the views on the Fox News that’s always playing

Four days home, and we’re starting to get nervous

We’re in separate rooms, the frustration starts to pile up

All our porn is on the Cloud, and it won’t come through a dollar!

Momma: Trent honey, rise and shine. Oh Steven you’re up too.

Trent: Eh we’ve been up. We’re gonna mow the lawn and fix that backward screen door.

Steven: Yes ma’am.

Momma: Don’t be silly it’s Sunday morning, boys.

Steven: oh, lunch?

Momma: No sir. Church!

Ah-men.

Pastor: “And as good Christians we believe the Bible is God’s holy word without error and the sole authority for life.”

We believe…

Pastor: And as good Christians we believe in fellowship through exert of kindness, understanding, forgiveness and love.

We believe…

Pastor: And as good Christians we believe the word when it tells us to cast out those who have chosen the path of sin and will not repent, namely the lesbians and the sodomites.

Steven: What?

Trent: Steven, sit down.

Steven: Did you hear that?

Trent: Yes I heard it. We’ll talk about it later.

We believe the word is true… Ah-men.

Pastor: Trent! Well now. You’re looking fine. Your daddy would be so proud. We sure do miss him.

Trent: I miss him too.

Pastor: Trent Michael! You seeing anyone these days?

Momma: For years, he’s being seeing this girl at work. Another agent like him.

Pastor: Is that so? You’re those wedding belles? You know, the last Sunday in June is free on the church calendar.

Trent: yeah. I think we’re gonna parade that day.

Four days home and we’re in an awful state now

Cause we’ve had enough of pretending that we are straight now

Four days home I’m a cranky adolescent

I expected more from my new entire depressant.

Steven: Me too.

Four days home I’m permanently stuck now

Trent: See why this is hard now?

After four days home

Steven: That serving was appalling

And it’s time to go

Cause I hear our life calling

Captain: “we’re now making our final descent to Newark International Airport. On behalf of our crew, we’d like to welcome you to New York. ”

Looking out, I start to see the city

All the lights, wow, they sure are pretty

After four days home, we’re back where we belong.