The Hospital Song

Nobody sends me birthday cards

Nobody brings me flowers

I'm just here for operations

I've been out for hours

When I come to I'll wet my bed

`Cos when I get mad I sink so low

As matron knows

I get off on what you give me, darling

I get off on what you give to me

Yeh, I get off on what you give me, darling

I get off on what you give to me

And when I go to that seedy ward

Up in the sky

You'll be waiting

With a hypodermic needle

And a graph

Here comes the dark

(I'm grateful for my anaesthetic)

Out goes the spark

(Delirious and apathetic)

When I come to

I'll wet my bed

And when I get well

I'll take revenge

I'll wreak my wrath

On all blood donors

And their sisters

Visiting time and flowers

When sister brings that bedpan round

I'll piss like April showers

I get off on what you give me, darling

I get off on what you give to me

Yeh, I get off on what you give me, darling

I get off on what you give to me

And when I go

I'll die of plaster casting love