A Man Walks into a Bar

A man walks into a bar, he says, "Give me a Bacardi and Coke!"

The Back o' Beyond Repair welcomes the broken and the broke

Blather hitches a ride on the back of second-hand smoke

And the man, well, he'll be the punchline in someone else's joke

I'll beat this drink, it's a habit I'll kick

Please help me now, I'm gonna be sick

Something hit me, I wound up on the floor

Damn this Bacardi, I don't want any more

A man walks into a think-tank full of hooch and future sales

Mixing wish lists with extention plans re: Guantanamo jail

Smell the solid beech, and a whiff of cannot fail

And a gilt-tray chock with goblets dripping cut-throat cocktails

And they drink a toast to Florida and all its air-conditioned hum

And they damn the health of Cuba and they damn its bona fide rum

He sucks a kalamata olive, spits out the stone

And he mimics crushing people between forefinger and thumb

I'll beat this drink, it's a habit I'll kick

Please help me now, I'm gonna be sick

Something hit me, I wound up on the floor

Damn this Bacardi, I don't want any more

The first man wakes up in the same bar, but it's different, as in a dream

In fact it's someone else's dream, clean sheets and new regime

Fidel burns as Nero roams, "Give the bar a zip code!"

"See you..." "Si... C.U.", and it's one more for the road

I'll beat this drink, it's a habit I'll kick

Please help me now, I'm gonna be sick

Something hit me, I wound up on the floor

Damn this Bacardi, I don't want any more