American Rag

I drive on an American highway

In my American car

I watch American Idol

I’m gonna be an American star

Hey there’s an American road sign

This is an All-American town

I like to eat American burgers

That I buy from an American clown

I live in an American house

I have a great big American flag

I’m such a proud American

I blow my nose in an American rag

I have an American iPhone

Though it isn’t quite American-made

But at least my American machine gun is

And my American switchblade

My dad was an American soldier

He fought in American wars

Now he installs American locks

To go on American doors

I shop in an American supermarket

Put my stuff in an American bag

I’m such a proud American

I blow my nose in an American rag

I work for an American company

They pay me in American bills

I drink American lager

I pop American pills

I snort American cocaine

I smoke American grass

I use American toilet paper

When I wipe my American ass

Bury me in American graveyard

A stone with an American tag

He was such a proud American

He blew his nose in an American rag