歌词
编曲 : The Stupendium
我知道看起来可能不像。
I may not look (like) it,
但是我可是去过艺术学院的......
But I went to an art school, you know...
我在那里可是偷了8箱颜料才触发了警报。
and I stole Ilike eight crates of acrilic before I tripped the alarm
[Hnn hehe]
[嘿嘿嘿]
Anywho
说回正事
what can I do for you pal?
我能为你做点什么呢老兄？
You look like a fine, upstanding island representative
你看起来像是一个正直的小岛销售代理。
The kind who understand an enterprise
像你这种人最能能理解企业
when they're presented with
只要为你展示
access to a wonderland
一座仙境
of fine authentic decoratives.
里面充满了货真价实的艺术品。
Except that there's just a chance
只是有这种很小的可能性，
you might detect they're edited.
你会发现它们是稍稍修改过的。
It's nothing underhanded.
这可不算什么欺诈，
Why, it's simple etiquette.
原因嘛...就是简单的潜规则。
Someone's gotta lose
总有人要蒙受损失，
or else the price is not competitive.
不然商品价格就没有竞争力了。
I may be discredited.
我或许确实毫无信誉可言，
But you need some art exhibits.
但是谁叫你急需一些艺术品。
And I'm the only guy upon this island who is selling it.
而我是整座小岛上唯一有货源的人。
Got a little bit of post-impressionism, neoclassical, surrealism, art nouverau.
这儿有着后印象派、新古典、超现实主义和新艺术派的作品。
[Ohhh]
But if you hit me with a host of questions
[哦豁]
quizzing, be all asking if it's real?
但是你要是想我抛出一堆问题，
Well, it's hard to know.
问我，这些都是真迹吗？
But the problem is:
那我只能说很难鉴别。
Would I lie to you?
但是你想想看：
After all, we're cousins, I've decided.
我为啥要欺骗你呢？
Ooh, you want a statue?
毕竟我们亲如一家人，我已经决定了。
I got a whole load in this old boat.
哦！你要来一座雕像吗？
If they don't go then the hull might smash through.
我的旧船上有着一堆呢。
Satisfaction guaranteed.
如果没人买那船舱就要被压穿了。
No retractions.
商品保证你满意。
No receipts.
恕不退货。
Refund laws may stand on land,
绝无发票。
but not transactions planned at sea.
退款法案或许在岸上生效，
So if you've a gallery,
但这可是在海上的交易。
lacking in a masterpiece.
所以如果你坐拥一个画廊，
Head down to the beach,
正巧缺少一点大师杰作。
I wouldn't cheat ya pal,
那就去海边吧，
we're family.
我可不会骗你兄弟，
You want the Venus De Milo for nook miles?
毕竟我们可是一家人。
Oh please.
你想用《狐狸旅程》换断臂的维纳斯？
Think a Donatello's gonna fall out of an oak tree?
哦可得了吧。
Think another barge is gonna barge in
你觉得多纳泰罗的作品会从橡树上面自己掉下来？
back of your garden,
还是觉得会有另一艘驳船入港，
with a better bargain?
就在你的后院，
There won't be!
给你更优的价格？
Got a sweet deal on a real Michelangelo.
不会的！
Go to a guy in a van for my Van Goghs.
这个米开朗基罗的价格可不算高。
Can't be picky when you're picking a Picasso.
要买梵高的作品去找我那个车里的朋友。
Doesn't even matter when you're painting where your hand goes.
挑毕加索画的时候可不能挑挑剔剔的，
Screw your turnips.
画画时画笔落在哪里都没有关系。
I can turn a profit taking turns at taking turners
我可去你的吧。
and turning then into takings.
我可以靠收集特纳的作品循环着赚取利润。
Earning paper from discerning patrons.
然后把它们记为营业额。
No return or trade-ins!
再挑剔的顾客手中也能赚到票子。
All these bargain I got for you,
绝不接受退换货！
Here's a lautrec that I'd hate Toulouse(to lose)
我给你找的这些好东西，
Buy it!
告诉你个小知识我最讨厌图卢兹（输）了。
You ain't got all day to peruse.
买吧！
Try it or I'll make you pay by the view.
你可没有一整天时间细细观赏。
You haven't got the money for a Manet or Matisse.
你要是再看我就要按眼收费了。
But I probably got a Monet you can have it on the cheap.
你没钱买马奈和马蒂斯的作品。
I got millet by the million.
但是这儿有几个莫奈的作品你可以便宜点拿走。
It's more than I can keep.
我这儿的作品成千上万，
So you really better buy them,
早就已经装不下了，
or I'll toss them in the deep.
所以你最好快点决定买啥，
You bought your Hieronymus bosch outright?
不然我就要把多余的画扔进海里了。
Gosh, how nice!
你要全价买耶罗尼米斯·博斯的作品？
Want advice?
哇哦，真棒！
You coulda bought a lotta Botticellis
要来点建议么？
from the fella at the jetty for a knock-down price.
你本可以买好多波提切利的作品
Kandinsky?
我在码头的仁兄可以给你打个折。
Can-do-ski!
康定斯基的作品？
Got a line on a fine one back in new leaf.
好呀可以。
Got a whole back room of own-brand Rembrandts.
有线人说在新叶（动森前作）有一个好的。
Here's a Vermeer!
有满满一屋子的自己品牌的伦勃朗作品。
Don't look at that Jewellery.
这是维米尔的作品。
All the greatest artist even known,
别盯着那个耳环看。（指戴珍珠耳环的少女）
sailing around your archipelago.
全世界最伟大的艺术家们，
Who needs authentication when there's a saving?
就在你的小岛周围巡游。
The owl's on his way?
谁会需要几张证书证明，
Then I'd better go.
如果能省钱的话。
HOO what?
猫头鹰动身了？
I have on close examination of this painting.
那我也该动身跑了。
I...I have grave news to share with you.
豁？这是啥！
This work of art...
我仔细检查了这幅作品。
Is a fake!
我...我有重要消息要告诉你。
What kind of wretched scoundrel
这幅作品...
would commit such fraudulent forgery to canvas!
是赝品！
Oh that hurts!
要多么无耻的混蛋骗子才会在画布上制作这么粗制滥造的赝品？
Satisfaction guaranteed.
哦！太伤人了！
No retractions.
商品保证你满意。
No receipts.
恕不退货。
Refund laws may stand on land,
绝无发票。
but not transactions planned at sea.
退款法案或许在岸上生效，
So if you've a gallery,
但这可是在海上的交易。
lacking in a masterpiece.
所以如果你坐拥一个画廊，
Head down to the beach,
正巧缺少一点大师杰作。
I wouldn't cheat ya pal,
那就去海边吧，
we're family.
我可不会骗你兄弟，
Can't afford all the money I charge?
毕竟我们可是一家人。
Forgery?
付不起我提出的价格？
Nah! It's a loving homage!
赝品?
Felon? I'm not! I'm a renaissance fox!
不不不，这最多算充满爱的致敬！
Honestly only a little ar large!
重犯？我可是文艺复兴之狐。
So don't be frugal.
说实话也只是被稍微通缉了一点点而已。
Buy that Bruegel.
所以别这么小气。
I got Dagas for days.
把勃鲁盖尔作品买下来吧。
Cezannes's in season.
我已经散味（与画家德加同拼写）很多天了。
Sure, that Seurat would look great at your place!
塞尚的作品正在当季。
Cuz I got a lotta costs to offset.
这幅修拉的大作一定会让你家蓬荜生辉。
I spend a lotta dollar on that Bob Ross box set.
因为我有好多开销等着抵偿。
So any members of the management
我花了不少钱买了鲍勃·鲁斯的光盘。
might have a happy little accident if they object.
所以如果管理层有人反对。
To my entrepreneurial oeuvre.
可能就会有一点点小小意外。
Largely consists of reiding the Louvre.
要说起我起家的经历。
Taking the paintings and tracing the loot.
大部分都是依靠打劫卢浮宫。
Then passing the savings directly to you!
收好画作并记好赃物。
Often my copies are just so convincing.
然后把存货直接转手给你。
I'll quite accidently sell the origional.
有时候我的仿制品太过完美了。
Though letting residents purchance the evidence,
我就会不慎将真迹卖出去了。
saves me from shredding them.
但是让居民买下了证据。
Thus they're the cirminal.
还省了我销毁他们的功夫。
Say I'm a fake and it hurts.
那看来他们才是罪犯。
Say I'm just after a way to your purse?
说我的东西是假货太伤人了。
Say that to my face?
说我只是想骗你的钱？
You''ll save on the hearse.
还当着我的面说？
You don't need a wake for a Damien Hirst.
你算是剩下了下葬的钱。
So if your podunk little home
充当达明安·赫斯特的作品正巧不用活物（指他的动物尸体作品）。
wants cultural acclaim.
所以你那死气沉沉的小房子
There's just one choice of vender, friend.
希望被人夸奖有文艺格调。
And Crazy Radd's the name!
那供应商的选择是有一个啊朋友。
But, if you're dissatisfied.
他大名就叫“狐利·瑞德”。
Then someone gets to blame.
但你要是还有一点点不满意。
You can canvas all my customers.
那总归要有人背锅。
They''ll tell ya,
你可以问问我其他的顾客。
I was framed!
他们会告诉你。
Tom Nook here with an island announcement.
我是被陷害（装裱）的。
An unscrupulous character has been seen
狸克在这里做全岛广播
lingering at the back of the island.
一个肆无忌惮的滑头被目击到
Do not talk to him.
在小到的后方流窜。
Alright?
不要和他说话！
Hey that's my cue to go.
听到了吧。
But uhh...
嘿，那说明我该走人了。
That eight-foot stone head you ordered?
但是额......
I'll mail it to ya.
你定的那个八尺石头雕像？
How big's your mail box?
我会邮寄给你的。
专辑信息