Maybe I Should

[Intro]

Should I even hold on (x2)

[Verse 1]

Early morning, this ceiling's is too familiar

Smell the stench on my clothing

Messages from my love, and my stomach's touching my back

Wake up knowing I'm ******* broke, I can't even fix me a sandwich

But you can cut these records and dream of vision that trumps everything you seen through your eyes

My mother's waiting, my brother's feeling tired

A grown man, as I suffered through family ties

Sitting at home alone where everyone's working tryna survive

*******, you can see it in the way I'm frontin'

I clean the house everyday to feel like I'm doing something

Plus I contribute nothing

These bills pile, see my mother fake her smile

Hoping all this music *******t I'm doing now is worthwhile

I pray she's not embarrassed

Her compassion what I come to cherish

Man, I know I'm after something more

But these times make me question what's in store

[Hook]

Should I even hold on?

Should I even hold on?

The worlds telling me there's nothing here to see

Got me wondering if I should go on

Man, now should I even hold on?

Should I even hold on?

Road block after road block

Tell me how exactly am I supposed to go on

[Verse 2]

I stop myself so I don't get excited

These are usually the moments when you face is tyring

Hopes up, hopes up, watch 'em fall

You wonder why you should even believe at all

Caught between who I am

Caught between who I should be to this fickle land

Caught between who I want me to be

What my family wants me to see

What the fans and industry needs

I hate to think about it, but what if like

What if like I don't master my full potential

And I become lesser than my supposed credentials

A slave to "could've been"

Stuck in my oldest residential like

"I woulda did it, but, *******t just wasn't efficient,"

I'm always thinking excessive

You feel the hunger

I'm desperate more than ever, the tone's becoming aggressive

My lord, it's not a question that I'm after something more

But these times make me wonder what's in store

[Hook]

[Verse 3]

I used to work as a janitor cleaning toilets

Took the bus like every morning to this office base

Sad to see the faces on these workers

One came to me looking nervous

Told me no matter what, "Always search for your purpose

Or you might just, end up like me

I'm 45 and drive a Bentley

Decent wife, but I hate the life that I chose"

Damn, made me stop and think to myself

All the *******t you come to accomplish has made you a living hell

I guess it ain't what it seem

A part of me should appreciate that I'm chasing a dream

But I'm a realist, and a part of me would rather be stable

Normal *******t, guess for me that wasn't placed on the table

Past decisions, everything was made to be instant

"I need it now, I need it now"

Nobody told me settle down and just focus your efforts

Mother and I were at odds, father was hot headed

*******t to him was Wizard of Oz

My ex was holding me back

Was too concerned with being married, I carried a sense of guilt to any damage even buried

I forced, myself to grow up

Take on responsibilities that were out of my league

Boxed in, I couldn't breathe

"Write raps, whatever G, you see this *******t that I'm going through?"

Stressing and tired, meanwhile I'm losing it all

Apar*******ent, the job, the car

Materialism, what kept me in prison

I guess I wasn't honestly living admit it

Back at my mama's like I never left

I'm crying tears tryna catch my breath

I been here too many times

I can't take it, I can't take it, first time I contemplated death

Peace to the dearly departed

You know it's real when you find yourself back when you started

My Lord

You knew that there was so much more in store

I guess it would be crazy to ignore

Maybe I should hold on

[Skit]

*Knock*

"Come in"

"I'm going to work

Make sure to take out the Pork Chops later today"

"Also clean up this house, it's filthy in here"

"And make sure you look for a job too if you get a chance

I'll be back around 5"