A Perfect Circle

I'm a single white male 32 years old and I've never been too great with the women

Well if the truth's being told I'm not much good with people, I've been alone in all the places I lived in

But fate had forgiven my shortcomings

and brought something forth from inside me that guides me when a call comes in

It's as if I'm blessed with a gift

to talk someone into a spell unknown

when I'm lecturin' with the telephone

The forced run ins face to face are hella hard

I'm afraid to date, but somehow make a great telemarketer

'Cause I can sell Antarctica ice in wintertime

29 inches that won't melt and mark up the price

Might be the fact I'm alone

but most of the human contact I've known

I've always had through the phone

So when I get back to the home where I live now

I sit down and dial my own map to see who answers the

*phone ringing*

Half the old ones I get the message -

The number you have reached has been disconnected

With 10 digits entered from another past number

The ringing interrupts a man's slumber

Hello?

And that was just from last summer

The change is enormous

And keepin' up to speed is a real game of endurance

I always get some lame little offers

Specializing in claims for insurance

Or maybe the occasional florist

Corner Florist

Hello?

Hello?

I'm sorry, what'd you say?

Corner Florist

Is this a flower shop?

Yes

Oh, I'm sorry I think I have the wrong number

OK, bye

Bye

Why am I still searching, and for what I don't know

Perhaps a real person or some version of love on the phone

It's like these 10 little buttons have grown

So significant, my will's worthless fighting off the gluttonous jones

So I chose a different number to try

And I was thinkin' I'd end up ringing another old guy

But when I reached the third line what a surprise

It was the first time in my whole life

On the telephone my tongue was so tied

Hello?

*Breathing*

Hello?

Uh- uh...

Is there somebody there?

I can hear you

It must've been something we shared

In the weird few moments of silence

When I was quiet like no one was there

So unprepared to forget your voice

I fell in love though I was scared, like I was left no choice

But you can expect most boys

Who get a first taste of love in their 30s

To revert to their 7th birthday

That's probably why I went the worst way

And devised a plan to get to know her with my voice disguised

And invented surveys

Hello?

Hi, I'm calling from the Census Department

I was hoping you could answer a few questions of ours, ma'am

Yeah, sure

How many people live in your apartment?

What are their ages? And by chance is anyone partners?

No, it's just me. I'm 30 and I'm not married

Alrighty, do you move often, and have your jobs varied?

No, I've been here for the last 3 years

And, my jobs did you say?

Yes ma'am, how many past careers?

Well, I'm not really a people person, I've always worked in a lab

Ma'am I don't blame you with all the jerks that we have.

I take it you don't get out much to flirt with the lads?

Are you kidding?

It's just as well, men are perfectly crass

Workin' the plans I had sown to build a report

I realized to handle by phone wouldn't fulfill me no more

So using the skills I had been born with

I got a address at home tracin' the call

So I could see the best mess that I'd known

Perhaps it was only a sad attempt

to find the nerve it would take

to say goodbye to the phone and tell the girl to her face

Well, I won't put your day further to waste

Thanks for your time ma'am, sorry to disturb you, Ok?

Bye

Ok... bye

Desperate times call for closer measures

So I left behind the phone and bought some telephoto lenses

Parked in a car, like those old detectives

I watched from afar, and saw that she lived by herself alone and friendless

Then what I noticed next would leave me livid

Her only guest was a handsome guy

Whose weekly visits had her cry

By the time he would leave

I'd bet the guy was an Ex or current flame unless my eyes were deceived

I tried to believe she cried to relieve heart-ache

If this guy would leave it would seem

She was liable to be in harms way

If I could just sneak in her place

I'd find it would lead to a trace

Of why she would keep lettin' this creep within arms length

Gettin' the piece was the easy part

'Cause if by chance I met him when I crept in,

through the window I would need the arms

I was breathin' hard when I stepped in

Broke the glass into shards with the weapon

And tore the bedroom where she sleeps apart

That's when a creaking part of the floor

And a twisted knob on the door

Startled me - I turned with the gun

And shot it before I realized I killed my own love

I dropped on all fours

Sobbin' and coughin' 'til I spilled my own guts

I came to still on the rug in the same room

Filled with the stuff I had tossed around

And then I found in plain view

What seemed to be a diary

Sittin' beside my knee

I couldn't make my mind believe

The words that I would finally read

PAGE 1 -

Thursday, 5:03

I was trying to sleep before the night-shift

when this guy woke me

He had a voice that had a vibe so sweet

It was caught on my thoughts

And just wouldn't let my mind go free

I skipped to page 74 and read a bit more

The only thing that I look forward to is gettin' his calls

If only I could get up the gall

I would tell him I loved him

I had to skip right to the end of it all

As for the last passage it began:

Why me? Where's my mystery man, God?

How could you let this guy leave

Will all the bad times and depression I've seen

This just has to be the last life's lesson I need

In fact this week's visit with my little brother

He said if the cancer keeps gettin' worse it'll kill our mother

He said the Doc' said I should just accept that she's dying

And from the second he left, I spent the rest of the week crying