Ikea

Long ago in days of yore

It all began with a god named Thor.

There were Vikings and boats

And some plans for a furniture store.

It's not a bodega, it's not a mall

And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine

As if there were apartments smaller than mine

Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen

Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men

Everyone has a home

And if you don't have a home you can buy one there

So rent a car or take the bus

Lay your cash down and put your trust

In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size

Billy the bookcase says hello

And so does a table whose name is Ingo

And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him Karl

Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen

Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men

Everyone has a home

And if you don't have a home you can buy one there

Ikea: plywood, brushed steel

Ikea: meatballs, tasty

Ikea: Allen wrenches

All of them for free

All of them for me

I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks

I just bought a table for 60 bucks

And a chair and a lamp

And a shelf and some candles for you

I was a doubter just like you

Till I saw the American dream come true

In New Jersey, they got a god damned Swedish parade

Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen

Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men

Everyone has a home

But if you don't have a home you can buy one there