Dear Jeepers

Zappa Frank

Cucamonga Years 1962-1964

Dear Jeepers

-Oh, what have we here? Oh! A letter! It smells...

Oh, how wonderful! I just love letters that are

perfumed. Oh! Lovely! Lovely stench! Essence

of wolfbane! Oh, Let me open it!...

"Dear Jeepers, it was so nice of you to attend

my party at the castle last week. You and Doris

make such a lovely couple. I'm also very glad to

have seen Igor, Boris, and Sally Snake, and

Funkin the Rat. It was so much fun when we all

played 'Pin the Tail on the Werewolf,' Oh yes!

and 'Electrical Chairs.' When everybody sat

down, Oh! Two million volts! Ha-ha-ha...! Oh,

such fun!"

Uh...Doris, squeeze me a glass of mildew...

And to continue now...

"Although the party was supposed to be rot

luck, it turned out to be pot luck. It was still

lovely of you to bring along that 'Leg of Lepre-

chaun au Gratin.' Desdemona wants the recipe.

Well, I'm... I'm rather exhausted, so I... I must

close now. The sun is coming up and I must

return to the crypt.

Sincerely, Count Dracula.

Oh, P/S. Here's a riddle:

Where there's a will, what's the way?"

Ho-ho! Ha-ha-ha...!