Ersatz

When one woman says to another:

Come on, let me be your man.

Even though there's nothing there

there could be something about that.

With this uncertain knowledge

they love each other everywhere.

Who seeks diligently shall find

but not in this case.

Because that which they are seeking

is not in its place.

Already there is an epiphany:

There is a substitute for anything.

Refrain:

When it's old, when it flies away,

when it's simply in the dirt,

when it's completely crooked and slanted,

when it's just manure, when it's just stink.

When it doesn't fit and just pinches

and you are slowly going mad.

And is the noose already hanging

above your neck.

Don't stick your head in the sand,

you are a valuable treasure.

The answer is obvious:

There is a substitute for everything, everything!

And even if one day

it happens suddenly,

and the cruel life

shaves you thoroughly.

You ride a tandem bicycle by yourself,

your dog lies in her bed.

You attend men's clubs,

and lift the glasses to your mouth.

You think about it,

now you have a lot of space at home.

You pet your full bottle

and call it: Darling.

Refrain

(If you feel like a loser,

then go see my brother in law.

While he likes to listen to German Schlager*,

he owns a spare part warehouse.**)